Reviews for Keeper
hazuki chan chapter 7 . 12/15/2009
yeah i canni be bothered to log in. v good last two chaps thinks u gt the mum daughter thing spot on.

hazuki x
muzikall chapter 5 . 11/16/2009
Yes, an update! I liked this chapter a lot; you really conveyed Mira's confusion well and nicely juxtaposed what Mira thinks happened and what really happened!
Hazuki-chan chapter 5 . 11/16/2009
yay another good chap, can't wait for an update. :)

Hazuki x
Hazuki-chan chapter 4 . 11/16/2009
oh, this is good, gonna read the next chap now :)

Hazuki x
muzikall chapter 3 . 11/14/2009
This seems really interesting! I like how both stories are intertwined in alternating chapters. Please update soon!
Bubble Wrapped Kitty chapter 3 . 11/11/2009
I'm really excited at this new repost, I love the idea of telling both stories side by side. You have an amazing gift for writing and I am looking forward to reading more as you post it.

Hazuki-chan chapter 3 . 10/22/2009
yay, those last three chapters were really good. I like the adding in of the story of Natalia, it is very interesting and i look forward to an update. :)

Hazuki x
Butterfly Catches Net chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
Very interesting and pretty well written! The dialogue you used was so engaging, I need to know what is going to happen to Natalia and Mira, now.

Just a few critiques, though :) In your first sentence, you fell victim to a common case of comma splicing. Try rephrasing that sentence using the basic verbal structure, since the commas were your only true problem there. Next, you used a few cliches here and there, and while some cliches in a literary work are necessary, others can be cut out. I would suggest cutting out the bit about "Fate has cast this one's dice," as it is very cliched and the same thing can be communicated in better wording.

Besides these two things, this was a very nice chapter, and I can't wait to read more of this story! See you soon. :]