|Reviews for I Cannot Make Ignorance Bliss|
| dancin-in-the-rain chapter 2 . 7/14/2010
So, here's a story for you. I was wandering through my review history, and I came upon the one that I had left earlier for this poem, and it said - GASP! - that it had been updated!
Now, imagine my surprise, because I had merely thought it was a poem; hence why I had not put it on alerts.
So, now, I am alerting this.(:
Though, it appears it's been a while since you've updated.
Again, your writing style is really so... descriptive.
I was immediately captivated, and the way you use repetition was pretty great.(: I use repetition too, in my stores, mostly, because I could never claim to be a poet.
I want more? Is that selfish?
All the best,
| Tsughi Sav chapter 1 . 5/6/2010
I like how you worded it. If you read it over some of the lines kind of ryhmn.
Fifth line down you did not capitalize the 'h' in how.
You confused me on 'Your comrades I shall pay no attention to either' because just two lines down from that you say 'I appear to be found of returning'. So, if you could explain that to me..?
Sorry if I seem a little too critical, but I think I might have OCD for some stuff and writing is one of them. When I read a book when they repeat a word three times or something in the grammar is off it erks me. So, sorry!
| Artume chapter 2 . 4/24/2010
I love how you told a whole story in so very few words. I don't know how to describe it, but I LOVE the repetition of 'failed', and the sadness/hopelessness the person feels. Great work.
And the last line - perfect, hehe.
| Artume chapter 1 . 4/24/2010
This is a nice piece of work! I really liked the flow of it. I'm sorry I don't have any criticism to offer, since I'm not majorly into poetry - but this piece really drew me in. I could imagine the feeling and surroundings pretty well. Very well done. :)
And since they're two poems, and different ones, I'm coming back with a review for that, too.
| soojinyeh chapter 2 . 12/29/2009
Both of the poems flow pretty well. It connects your thoughts and emotions about this boy from one line to the other.
The descriptions weren't very vivid, it was actually quite short and brief. But I think that's what you were going for, and you gave enough information to let me know that these are your thoughts about a boy in scholl that you meet in classes and hallways.
The subject was sweet (to me) and a nice slice of everyday life. It was real, didn't come off as trying to hard to be something, and felt pretty honest. Plus I think everyone can relate to something like this.
Your tone seems a bit pessimistic, like you feel you'll never get anywhere with this boy. It feels like you've given up, like you're pushing yourself away from any possibility. Is this true?
The way you laid out the lines on Chapter two was interesting. The repition of the line "I failed" was effective in making the reader understand your point and how you felt.
It was brief, short, and sweet. A nice little piece of life that I think we could all appreciate.
| reveraveclesyeuxouverts chapter 1 . 12/22/2009
This was really great to read-
Something just made me really like the end- I think that at some point, this almost became like a story of it's own, but then, in the second to last line ("I am going to ignore you") brings it back together kind of in a circle, it was really great...
Then the last line... Kind of makes the whole thing seem like a wish...
This whole review probably doesn't make much sense, but, it's my own way of saying that you did a really great job with this-
- someone -
| Get Scared chapter 1 . 12/5/2009
This is great!
And very true. I like it. I like it MUCH.
Yay. Grammatical fail right there.
Anyways. Great work. Permission to fave~?
| Inkspilled chapter 1 . 12/2/2009
I like the personality this piece has, determination, and the way it sounds serious, like a warning, but at the same time, the words in brackets provide almost comical relief. It's entertaining, for sure. Nice to read, and good format. I like it. :)
| deefective chapter 1 . 11/19/2009
Hmm, well I like the nice little rhythm you created by repeating the "I am going to ignore you" phrase. It made the piece flow and also added a sort of poetic tone. I also liked this just because of the ambiguity surrounding the source of the narrators feelings towards this person. You don't state that you hate this person because whatever but you simply say you're going to ignore them. It created a sort of mystery that was simple and nice to read. Nicely done.
| HiddenFromYou chapter 2 . 11/18/2009
I liked this because I could relate to it so much. The short, snappy lines really put across the feeling of the poem.
Though you kinda broke the rhythm when you put:
~Are we reduced to gestures in public
that could be ones of hate or love?
As two lines. The rest of the poem had one line and then "I failed", and this took me out the poem.
| turn-towards-the-light chapter 1 . 10/25/2009
hey, remember. there was another title, i just cannot print it here, for the poem is rated K. anyway, this was a polite way of expressing your feelings! i wanna read the REAL THING! for anyone else viewing this comment...yo may think this poem is poeticaly rude, but the person she's writin about is an imbecile, and NOTHING poetc bout him xD! omg, imigine HIM tryin 2 be poetic! xD BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA anyway tis a good poem. MAKE MORE! WO
| dancin-in-the-rain chapter 1 . 10/24/2009
This... in it's, what, 100 words?
Was pretty extremely amazing in its simplicity.
I'm sure that anyone can relate to what you've described:
I mean, I know that I have before purposely chosen, no, commanded myself to ignore someone that I knew wasn't worth chasing.
Yet, you long to feel his gaze on your back as you walk past.
And then you scold yourself for wanting that; for giving yourself the satisfaction.
All of these things were conveyed; the mental debates and struggles.
I enjoyed it very much so.(:
&, Umm, can I just point out that I think you're a tad bit crazy for wanting negative reviews?
A) they don't make you feel good inside, and aren't necessarily helpful. Lol. You CAN be helpful without being negative.
B) who could give one to you?
All the best,