Reviews for Thrown into Love
GoneAway-MightNotBeReturning chapter 3 . 6/19/2011
Nice Evelyn description. Not too much but you can picture her quite clearly. Edgar mentions her naivete and then the reader meets her and she's naive about Edgar's dear Uncle David. But then again, Edgar is pretty cynical about him, which is granted, given the horrible things he's done to everyone in the family. This *incident* about Uncle Dave also, you know, shows that Evelyn is forgiving and an amazingly nice person who wants to make the world a better place.

And then - forgive my rambling - this contrast shows in actual fact what a p
GoneAway-MightNotBeReturning chapter 2 . 6/19/2011
Oh gosh, that's a classic (trope reference ahead) Meet Cute situation. You can really tell that Edgar's infatuated and head over heels in love with Daisy, just by the few descriptions you give us - like how her voice was soft and sweet or her hands were warm. And she's so suspicious and a bit stalkerish at times, it's almost cute, but that's because Edgar thinks it is (it's first person after all.) Reading back, there's a lot of foreshadowing about future chapters going on here, which is pretty awesome because when you read back (like me) you go 'ooohh, that explains.' Adds another layer to the story. :D
GoneAway-MightNotBeReturning chapter 1 . 6/13/2011
Nice introduction into the story. You set up all the characters Edgar, Eveyln (as well as the bond between Edgar and Evelyn)Daisy, as well as his Uncle (though we haven't seen him yet, we have a good idea who he is) really well. Your writing style gives your stories a realistic edge and also, it's kind of ironical, when Edgar says that she had the most well-meaning smile he'd ever seen, because (I've read on) we obviously know what's going to happen next. :D
thefaultinourpatronus chapter 1 . 4/1/2011
In the process of returning all those lovely reviews... :)

I HATE him, mum!" Now, my father was being pissed.

-The dialogue tag makes it sound like the father is speaking. Maybe add that into another line, or use something like - 'My father got pissed at that.'

-Instead of all caps, I suggest you use italics - it makes the prose seem more professional.

Interesting start! I like how you portrayed "Ed's" (I had to. XD)and Evelyn's relationship! (Love her name, btw) They seem really close, and that's not including the endearments. It's nice to see friends like that!

One thing I had an issue with was that maybe you could add the description of the uncle to a later chapter, one in which we actually see him? It halted the flow of the narration and if we actually had to see him in all his balding glory (;)) then maybe we could get an actual feel of why Edgar dislikes him so much.

Hope this helped, I'll try and repay all the reviews within the weekend, thanks again for those! :)

x mandy

chewychester chapter 32 . 5/16/2010
Wow what an ending. GReat job
Cassadaga chapter 1 . 2/28/2010
What is "nervosity"? That's not even a you mean "nervousness"?
greenforests chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
This was a good first chapter, I'm sure everyone has an Uncle David that they can't be bothered dealing with.
David-Mole chapter 1 . 10/25/2009
Good foundations set for what will possibly be an interesting plot...can't wait to read more next weekend!
23 | « Prev Page 1 2