Reviews for Pyrrhic upon turning 24
MallowsWins chapter 1 . 11/10/2009
It looks like you're playing with some dark symbolism in this piece. I suppose that's nothing new but it really stood out in this one. It also seems multi layered, and I'm not sure I'm quite getting what you're saying here, though I do like the way you play with words and imagery here. I especially like the lines 'I dream of Virgilian ships slipping along the ledge of my tongue' and 'I‘m battling my own ghost-self, while bearing his own ghost-child.' They both stuck me pretty hard. I'll be thinking about this one until I fall asleep.

Peace, Daze
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 11/8/2009
Wow, such captivating imagery. Great word choice.
deefective chapter 1 . 11/5/2009
You did very well with the flow in this piece. Everything moved and blended together quite well. On the other hand, I'm not so sure about your word choice. At some times I felt like phrases were complete perfection and other times it just seemed awkward. For eaxample, I loved the first two stanzas but at this part:

yet, those hitherto

sectarianisms broker

loose bombs - my hands

turning into cold motifs

I just felt like it wasn't worded right. But over all, nicely done.
setne chapter 1 . 11/5/2009
There is some wonderful wording in this work, very powerful images. I love the idea of ghosts within ghosts. Wonderful poem.

Many thanks for the reviews.
Punslinger chapter 1 . 10/29/2009
Well-crafted and moving with outstanding lines - some delicately symbolic and some as joltingly real as a punch in the stomach. "...the pyrrhic chanting elopes..." "I dream of Virgilian ships..." "...battling my own ghost-self/while bearing his own ghost-child."