I really enjoyed reading this story, I found your writing style very clear, easy to read and very emotive.

I did feel something missing when I got the end so I read it again and what I felt was that this was just a snippet of something that could be made into a novel with wonerful details and a story that can cross time in the universe you've created. I like detail in a story, epsecially when there is potential for a good backstory to come into play and create more twists.

A good background to the swords power and how it became demon possessed. I love how it brings out all the worst things in the character and his ambitions but uses them against him. (It has a touch of Lord of the Rings feeling to it, but with a few twists it could go right away from it.) Thanks for sharing it. I'm lookinf forward to reading more of your stories like this.

Ebony.

Really neat writing style, I love the way you've captured Fasz's thoughts. His "reasoning" is brilliant. There's very little physical description of anything, but your description of his thoughts really overrides that. Just one thing: you could maybe put more of the whole demon thing in, and the things (other than the bloodlust) it puts into Fasz's mind-when you mention it later on in the story, I'd almost forgotten about it.

Otherwise, this is a complete gem.

So far, that was one of the best pieces I've ever read on fiction press. While reading your story, I could tell you really knew your world and you were comfortable writing about it. It just shone through. Also, it didn't take long for me to get to know the characters. I immediately became familiar with Fasz and, through his thoughts, I knew what kind of person he was. Bravo to you.

I think one more polish would make this story even better. Good luck with your writing.