Reviews for Eirwiga
AterAeterna chapter 1 . 1/1/2011
This was well written, a little cliche - teens all alone in a cabin/house in the middle of nowhere and a stranger comes along and shit hits the fan. However I did like the fact that the Eirwiga wasn't defeated. I would have liked the ending even more had you left off the very last senctence about no-one escaping, but its just my opinion that it would have been better without that line.

I did notice a few errors but the ones that stood out to were:

'picked up his finger' (that line really should have been 'lifted his finger')

"What the hell did you wake me up for, man?" Tern asked.

"Maybe he's nocturnal," Tern piped up. "Like he only functions at night, like a vampire or something."

"That's just stupid, Jessie," Tern stated (the wrong name was here)

I CAN'T RUN ANYWHERE EVEN IF I COULD, KUIR." ( I think this line should have been 'I can't run anywhere even if I wanted to Kuir' this makes more sense.)

The following two lines are the ones I liked the most, very nice phrasing in my opinion.

- And now the Lord Almighty had stamped the postcard that was his life with the bold words, 'HELL'.

- his mind had shut down, gone in lockdown and he didn't have the keys to it. He was alone in the dark