Reviews for The Mating
mel-mayr chapter 5 . 11/8/2009
i really cant comment on the grammer being mone sucks too lol but i think there could be alittle more dialouge? i hate it when writters leave you hanging for weeks too. i did that once but i had a great exscuse i just had a baby so... :) keep it up.
AlfortJen chapter 5 . 11/8/2009
Take your time, your doing great : ) . The sex at the beginning was just right it wasn't graphic at all. Knowing more about Kane and his thought would help a lot. Right now I feel sympathy for Elise but, if she keeps on "whining" and doesn't make an effort, there's a problem.

MORE DIALOGUE !
blackrule chapter 5 . 11/8/2009
I agree with all that you said. I hate it when authors start something then can't finish or when you even favourite something they're writing and then they decide not to finish posting it, but do continue writing it. In all fairness though there are some authors out there that do write very long chapters and thus only update once a month which is understandable for the size of it. However it isn't fun to be cut off. Especially as it's reaching the climax of the whole thing and the last chapter posted leaves you thinking one of the main characters is dead and the author decides to stop posting and doesn't even leave a note about it.

Anyway as for your story, you do an excellent job proofreading and such, however I caught something in this chapter that needs fixing. Somewhere in this chapter it says something about them being in a cab. I didn't realize till just now that you probably mean the cab of a truck, I would give a bit of clarification on it so that readers don't think you messed it up.

The sex at the beginning was alright, it wasn't very descriptive but I thought it was alright. It doesn't seem like this is going to be one of those stories that's all smut :P good thing honestly. If you want smut all you really have to do is look at one of the single gender relationship stories. Seems that's what the majority of them are. I am a bit sympathetic to Elise, I would be upset if I was forced into a marriage and left almost as soon as it happens. It also seems almost like she was brushed away once they got to the house too. And I sense there is going to be some jealousy or problems headed her way because of that lady that cut her off when she was walking in. But what's a story without a few problems eh? hehe I think I can imagine how she feels though, it isn't easy going from a place that you've known your whole life and have friends and know practically everyone there to a place where you know no one and it isn't easy to make new friends either. Once you do (if you do) they're still not the same as the ones from home.

I think the description is fine. Sometimes it could use a bit more, but usually it's fine. If you wanted to add more though that would be fine as well. It's nearly one of those borderline ones :P Learning a bit more about Kane and him being a bit more involved, but not too much more involved would be cool. The fight with Ryne sounds like more opportunity. He comes back and starts a fight or is actually working with that other girl. hehe I've read too much. I know. Overactive imagination and whatnot. I don't care though lol More action would be fun, and a bit more dialogue would be alright as well. It's been progressing fine and if I had complaints I wouldn't bother reading or I would voice them. Example: the cab thing Anyway can't wait for another chapter! Thanks for talking and listening! :D
CoryD chapter 5 . 11/8/2009
Like the way the story is going so far. Glad you decided to continue it.
kone4 chapter 5 . 11/8/2009
I really would like to see how their relationship develops... a big fight possibly?
AlfortJen chapter 4 . 11/8/2009
Wow, that's sad. I hope thing get better for her.
Rosey-Blue chapter 4 . 11/8/2009
poor girl, sucks that she has to leave her home.

thanks for the update.
AlfortJen chapter 1 . 11/6/2009
I really like it
tennislove chapter 3 . 11/6/2009
This is a good story, the ending is kind of wide open, and i wish there was more, if only to gain some closure and to let the characters develop more. But over all it was a good story.
kone4 chapter 3 . 11/6/2009
Great story! Keep going!
sunshinegirl206 chapter 2 . 11/5/2009
i like this so far i hope that you continue the story
Rosey-Blue chapter 2 . 11/5/2009
its good that elise is trying to make it work and not making it worst by being difficult.

lets see what happens next.

more!
mel-mayr chapter 2 . 11/4/2009
another great chapter! cant wait for more.
Bitter.Winter chapter 1 . 11/4/2009
This story is promising :) Please continue. I'm anxious to read the rest.
Rosey-Blue chapter 1 . 11/4/2009
oh yes, please continue.

i liked it.
1,232 | « Prev Page 1 .. 72 79 80 81 82 83 Next »