|Reviews for Love Thy Neighbour|
| Ibbit chapter 23 . 12/23/2015
There are errors scattered about, minor grammatical things, wrong names or pronouns, small inconsistency errors (nem never saying ily according to chap 23 but he returned Ariel's ily in chap 18). But I really like this story.
For the longest time I thought eliana and ester were actually one person, the scene with the two outside seemed very schizophrenic and duel personality. So I kinda guessed it without any real clue because I'm totes cool. (Kidding) I figured the family humored the real one, up until the hospital scene when it was confirmed their separate selves.
Nem went from very angry/hostile at the beginning to very chill and clingy and emotional toward the middle on. It was a bit too quick of a transition in my opinion, but I still like nem as a character, although I can't spell his name.
I like all the siblings, although I had trouble remembering which were which. I wish Fatima had more of an importance, I liked her a lot. I also really liked the middle-eastern additions. It's so much easier to write a white America but you didn't and it worked very well. Also really glad you added the HIV test scene because its important and others just gloss over it as if diseases aren't real.
Unrelated to your story, sorta, it was really awkward for me to read about Ariel dating jackson because that's the name of my recent ex, and the sex scene was hell for me. But dear god I'm glad he was an asshole in this.
Beautiful story, totally didn't almost cry when esther say eliana in the hospital.
| the old contemptible chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
Well, finally. Actual Jew!slash. Mazel tov to you.
Will continue to review as I go. Is it inappropriate [sic] to ask if you're a fellow Jew?
| MERMAID chapter 12 . 8/15/2012
Liked this one...i think miah needs another tattoo ..:)
| binnyboo chapter 23 . 7/31/2012
| I'mColdInTheSun chapter 11 . 7/4/2012
Oh my fucking God, I just noticed your hat. o.o
And I fucking love it.
Awesome story, too. I was ready to die with Nehemiah.
| JHeartbreak chapter 23 . 11/21/2011
An excellent story. I can really see you improve over the course of the novel. Towards the end your pictorial tendencies come into full flower, and your carefully restrained style and elliptical scene plotting both become more pronounced. All of these are very good things. I think your characters are fairly well filled out. Ariel and Nehemiah are complex, dynamic characters that you have a good psychological grasp of. I like your focus on the entire family; it added a sense of roundness and community, although sometimes I felt like we were taking unnecessary detours (like with Bashe's past with Lizzy).
After reading so many stories on Fiction Press where we are made to feel all the suffering of a character, I can't tell you how good it feels to have a powerful and convincing plot of healing and reconciliation.
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 23 . 4/6/2011
Um... The first time ariel said he loved nehemiah, Nehemiah said it back. I think.
That was an odd ending; that part with the family was strange... I don't really understand what happened there.
But I really liked your characters, they were so real. You didn't even have to describe them that much; your whole writing shaped them and showed who they were without having to say it so bluntly.
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 16 . 4/6/2011
...a romantic comedy about a serial killer?...
If I had anything to say about this chapter, it has gone because that notion completely floored me.
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 15 . 4/6/2011
"does it could if you figure out how to solve a problem you've been having?"
Other mistakes I've noticed didn't matter, but I couldn't figure out what this one's meant to say..
LOL what an idiot..why is he asking his GAY foster parents if they care he's gay?
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 13 . 4/6/2011
Aww cute, he's afraid of thunderstorms.. I want to hug him now
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 12 . 4/6/2011
I like Nehemiah..it's stupid but I always like the troubled, angsty one. Until they start hurting people.
Is ariel whiny? I didn't really notice...I just think he should break up with that douchebag.
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 11 . 4/6/2011
Yay! Friends again :)
I didn't like Jackson on his and ariel's date and I think I like him less now. /:
He's being a dick..
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 10 . 4/6/2011
Dark. Pale. Skinny. Bony.
He'd stand with his whole body turning inward, a scowl on his face because he's scared and wants to scare people away. Maybe because he wants to make them scared too. His face is drawn and his mouth turns down. He could be pretty if he wasn't so overwhelmingly sad. His head stays down and he has scars. His hands stay in his pockets or across his stomach-protective.
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 8 . 4/6/2011
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 6 . 4/6/2011
Um, you slept gouache wrong. Like gauche.
Or maybe that's me being an idiot because I'm only spelling it how you say it.
Damn...they were being kinda friendly and now they're annoyed at each other again..
Not gonna lie, this story's kinda confusing. I'm trying to figure out how it will fit into the bigger picture. Maybe because I'm not seeing cliche plots and characters so I don't actually know what's going to happen... Actually that's probably it.