Reviews for Forbidden Slave |
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![]() ![]() continue |
![]() ![]() love it |
![]() ![]() What happened to the other chapters? |
![]() ![]() Type your review here. can't find chapter 2 |
![]() ![]() ![]() CARRY ON |
![]() ![]() you need to update this story and don't give up on it, it's so good. |
![]() ![]() Good premise but not well executed. It would do you well to get an editor and a book on dialogue. Good start though. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love this! If you re-wrote or have an updated version of this, would you send me a link? |
![]() ![]() End of the line for me I am afraid, bit to long going nowhere fast. |
![]() ![]() Why does Nathaniel always strip her naked at Night before she sleeps, just want to know ! |
![]() ![]() Pretty pls update soon, I sOooO love this story, pls continue pls... |
![]() ![]() Really love this story, the sensation I felt reading really took me by suprise, I have never felt my body jerk up like this before. I really wish u deciede to continue this story and I wish u the best with your up coming stories |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is a really great first chapter. It makes me hate her boyfriend without being told I should, and gets me curious for what's next. You've also managed to get a lot of your characters personality across, which is great. My biggest suggestion would be to go through and watch for tense swaps, as you jump back and forth between past and present tense throughout the chapter. That's an easy fix though - great job. |
![]() ![]() ![]() WHat the... good for the other book, but... this story HAS to be continued, its that good, don't doubt yourself. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I was gonna stop reading at this chapter and finish it later, but you gave me such a good cliffhanger |