|Reviews for Celestia of the Thorns|
| Silencia chapter 2 . 11/18/2009
I really like this story and I so smell a romance between Shaul and Celeste! XD
Looking forward to more! Grtz Silencia
| walkonair chapter 2 . 11/17/2009
Hello! I'm sorry it took me so long to review this-I'm an awful reviewer.
I'm taking the 'give feedback' stuff seriously!
Here are my comments-I wrote as I read, so it's a bit choppy.
*I thnk that the first paragraph is awkward. I have no clue how to fix it, but it feels wordy.
*Is Dayna really only 16 (as you said in the last chapter)? Because she sounds older than Celeste in their exchange about marriage.
*I'm a little confused at the 'multi-coloured strips of cloth', could you paint a little stronger mental image of this? (maybe describe the colors, where the strips are placed, etc.)
*"My hair went into a tight bun, covered by a black cloth to hide -their- golden sheen." Should it be '-its- golden sheen'?
*"It was definitely not pleasant to have ones neck cut" Should that be 'one's neck cut'?
*Celeste has a fasination with the color green. :)
*"Levi is so much like father..." Should that be 'Father'?
*"Another strangled laugh left me. "That is was." Should that be 'it'?
*Wow! Great, LONG chapter! I am smitten with this story...
I can't wait for the next installment, and please, just tell me if you don't want all these comments-I won't be offended at all. :)
| dwpea chapter 2 . 11/17/2009
just started reading...n your writing and story is absolutely awesome!i love your story so far (and i know i will only get better)!
will eagerly await the next chapter!
| PurpleEyesOfTruth chapter 2 . 11/17/2009
I am definitely loving you and this story right now. - So interesting..and fascinating. You definitely caught me into this one and I can't wait for more. Good luck with the rest of NaNoWriMo!
| TinuvielDork chapter 2 . 11/16/2009
Much love to you! That was a lovely long chapter! I am already wholly invested in this story, and it is only the second chapter - I applaud you.
One question - how many princesses are there? There are the five princes, and Princesses Cay and Dayna, but that does not make up the ten at the table.
And is Prince Shaul's name pronounced like "shawl"?
:) love it already!
| Lilang chapter 2 . 11/15/2009
Yeah, I do love you right now :)
I hope you're doing well with NaNo (which you probably are, as I'm stalking you on LJ and thus know that your words' count is already pretty high!), and I'm waiting for the next chapters.
I haven't seen anything odd or sounding like a mistake in this chapter, but maybe I overlooked something.
At any rate, I like this story a lot! I think it has a kind of gothic feel to it, probably because of all the descriptions of the castle... Nice! :)
| MistressBlack852 chapter 2 . 11/14/2009
aw i feel bad for celeste!
and whoaa i didnt think shaul had cut her throat deep until i read the last part of the chapter :O
awesome chapter btw! i cant wait until the next one :D
| truebleu chapter 2 . 11/14/2009
I love this story, especially since it has royalty in it!
I can't wait for the next chapter, and what Shaul and Celeste might become!
Update as soon as possible!
Your faithful fan,
P.S. About how many chapters will this story be?
| aicha chapter 2 . 11/14/2009
I clicked on this story because I liked the title though I was a bit unsure about the summary. And now I am glad I did. I realy like the story and the only other fantasy story I've liked on FP was Queen Of Glass, which was just epic.
I'm really looking forward to more! And good luck with NaNoWriMo!
| toffeecakesxox chapter 1 . 11/14/2009
awwh, such a great beginning!
i love it :]
must read more.
| esmeralda123 chapter 2 . 11/14/2009
Wow great plot... let me guess... Prince S will fall in love with Celestia... and he will have to charm her :) so romanticc! it reminds me of a book called time enough for drums..
| chic rebel chapter 2 . 11/14/2009
i really like this. i can't wait to read more! :)
| Jainblu chapter 2 . 11/14/2009
e, definitely loving you right now! :P
Seriously, this is really good, I mean there are lots of typos, and i guess teh fact that some words are missing as well probably doesn't mean good things for your word count,but either way im truly smitten with it. I don't know its just kind of interesting you know.
I want to learn more about the universe that its set in, would like to know wh shaul is such a jerk ;) and am really just waiting to read more.
| charm en route chapter 2 . 11/14/2009
I love the length of this chapter. :D
Anyway, the plot is thickening and it seems that this story is going to be great fun.
| CrazyCowgirl101 chapter 2 . 11/14/2009
! The much anticiapated Shaul makes his debuet! I loved this chapter! Thanks for updating, and please make sure that you do so quickly! Im going to go INSANE if you don't. Okay . . . . probablly not but . . . i have writers block! seven chapters in! UGH! aNYWHO . . . . As you can see i don't type very well . . . my fingers move faster than my brain sometimes. . . .
Anywho . . . good luck! Keep writing!