|Reviews for A Bump in The Road|
| Arisa Hanari chapter 3 . 4/1/2010
so she had a mental illness? I thought she was facing with a huge phobia or something XD oh well, it was a fun read! :D
| Anna Louise chapter 3 . 3/29/2010
I'm really enjoying reading this, I've just read all three chapters and can't wait for the final one. You managed to create and maintain a feeling of suspense, kudos to you, I really wanted to find out why she kept getting out of the bus. When she did it the first time I thought she'd knocked someone over, like a hit and run, but then when it happened again it made it even more mysterious. Well done, I'm very much looking forward to the next one.
| HoodedStellaish chapter 3 . 3/23/2010
I agree with Leviticus II, it could move a tab bit faster. One more chapter to go! KEP WRITING!
| Leviticus II chapter 3 . 3/22/2010
This is a really good addition to your story! I like it, but it didn't move much. It mostly stayed in about the same place. You're really good at writing, but try moving a tiny bit faster. I hope you get the next chapter done quick! I want to see what happens in the end. Thanks for the great story!
| HoodedStellaish chapter 2 . 3/21/2010
Whoa. Not good. That Alex is in trouble.
Okay, so since you reviewed my story I got off my lazy butt and decided to read some of your stuff, which is really good! Keep it up!
Oh, and if speakers change then start a new paragraph.I noticed that with the mom and Julia.
Also, try and use more dialoge. It can get really confusing if you don't. A bit more descibtion on the characters too, because the only one I really caught was Hannah, the spoiled one, and that tall fifth grader. Okay?
| HoodedStellaish chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
Well, that's certainly a mystery. Hm...what's Ms. Silver hiding beneath the bus? Reading on to find out. :)
| pokemonrul432 chapter 2 . 2/13/2010
I like where you are taking this I hope you post more soon because it seems to me that it isn't finished.
| Leviticus II chapter 2 . 12/30/2009
I...have my eyes wide open right now! Poor Alex! What happened? Is he just waking up, or is he hurt? And of course the obvious, what is making the annoying bumps! Wow, I absolutely LOVE this story! Please write more, and Thanks again!
| Leviticus II chapter 1 . 12/30/2009
I want to read more! That was AWESOME! full of suspense, and very interesting, and detailed! thanks for the good read!
| Save-The-Rejects chapter 1 . 12/9/2009
Not to bad! Although you should have “”when using dialouge. But other than that it entertained me
| vitriolicvermilion chapter 2 . 12/8/2009
This is a very strange story...in a good way.
I'm hoping you continue it, as I am intrigued as to what is going on.
I understand you have limited space, however, I'd try to flesh out the characters a bit more unless it's meant to be a short story where the characters are not the main focus.
Interesting plotline though.
| firemounrain chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
I work for my university's newspaper and we don't publish fiction, but I understand the concept of a serial and I think it's cool. Your grammar looks ok and offhand I don't see any typos, although I disagree with you about the non/placement of a few commas. I like the dialogue at the end of the story.
From the description, it sounds like the driver has a bad case of obsessive-compulsive disorder (ocd).