Reviews for Jonas
lookingwest chapter 1 . 1/10/2010
Read this like a poetry slam and I like how you formatted it as such, with the two lines together, that really staggers it for me and I can get a wonderful sense of this piece being read aloud. You use great words that when spoken employ wonderful alliteration, more specifically "tonguing tangerine teen-queens" that was amazing, and I obvious really love it!

from the review marathon (link in my profile)
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
I like the structure and pacing of this poem. To me, the imagery and word choice made it vivid.
deefective chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
Hm. I really enjoyed the clever word play in here with the similar sounding words and alliteration and all. Very nice to read out loud. I also liked this line:

"tonguing tangerine teen-queens"

Something about that just sounded so well written and it created some interesting imagery there.

Though, I'm not sure what it was but I just didn't like the overall piece. I think maybe it had to do with the way you phrased your sentences but it's weird. All the elements were there (good writing, imagery, message, etc) but it just didn't do it for me.
SyllabicHeartbeat chapter 1 . 11/8/2009
Beautiful poem. Honestly, your word choice adds to the heart of the concept in all your pieces. I love it. The concept can be so simple and yet, so descriptive.