|Reviews for Sweet Poison|
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 19 . 8/14/2010
Haha, Blair schmoozed her dad. It's so nice to see him come out of his shell.
I'm confused now, I dunno who to root for - Carlos or Blaire!
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 16 . 8/14/2010
Awh, Carlos is soo in love with Macy, it's sweet and sad. I loved that Blaire stuck up for Macy to Justin, Justin's really,really creepy!
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 14 . 8/14/2010
Beach soccer is fun. I'm so glad Blaire got accepted, he needed that. He's really turning around.
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 13 . 8/14/2010
Yay! Macy unwittingly saved his life! :)
Does Blaire maybe have multiple personality disorder? It seems like it. Another great chapter
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 12 . 8/14/2010
It seems I got names confused last chapter. Cory, not Carlos, was a jerk. And so was Justin! I thought he was gonna rape Macy. Thank God Carlos rescued her
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 11 . 8/14/2010
Oh, he really is suicidal :(
Lol, I like cookie dough ice cream, too! It's so yummy. I feel bad for Macy, Carlos was such a jerk, and then she knew Blaire wasn't having fun.
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 8 . 8/14/2010
I'm loving this story :) Does Carlos still have feelings for Macy? They'd be a cute couple.
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 7 . 8/14/2010
Oh no, is he suicidal? That's really sad. Haha, he's falling for Macy as fast as she's falling for him.
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 6 . 8/14/2010
Offering to let him stay in her tree fort. Brilliant :) I knew she was falling for him. Delilah's very cool, a very well-written character. I'm glad Macy dropped Jason, but her poor mother. Oh well.
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 4 . 8/14/2010
Poor Macy, she doesn't want anything to do with that guy, she's starting to fall for Blaire :) Justin seems normal, I guess, if pushy, forward, and full of himself...
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 3 . 8/14/2010
Poor Blaire, he was really upset. Hopefully things turn around for him. I didn't think I liked this story, but it's really good and becoming addicting.
The stuttering prof. made me laugh, it's alway funny when someone who talks for a living has trouble with it.
| J. A. MacKillop chapter 2 . 8/14/2010
I like the two totally different personalities in Macy and Blaire. It'll make things interesting, because she seems so interested in him. Her car made me laugh, I've always wanted a VW Beetle :)
| Ruby Kart chapter 35 . 7/31/2010
Beautiful! Great ending, and even the suspense in the last chapter - you don't normally end a story that way, but it was definitely a complete rollercoaster of a book. So many emotions from both Blair and from Macy.
Surprise twists at the end, that revealed that small part of why they were so much alike. Both dreading the idea of losing someone close to them. Again, you don't normally end a book after a suspense chapter - but it was if she finally broke the last piece of the mold. She was able to convince him that she would never leave him. I loved it. Every word!
Thanks so much for allowing me to read your story. It's the best I have read in a long while. Don't bother posting the revised editions on FP again. Just revise the work and send it into the publishers. The sooner you get this on the shelves - the sooner I can buy it :))
| Ruby Kart chapter 31 . 7/25/2010
That's what I normally refer to as a shadow of a sex scene. It's not explicit, but you're fully aware of what's going on. Enough detail to give you the emotion and feeling, but it's not to the point of over the top description (like many stories on here). The theme is still T, but the detail isn't M.
It's still a fantastic story. I mean, it seems really soon to be falling in love after 3 months, and all that. They've both opened up completely, and it's more of a reader's hope that things continue going right. That they stay together and that no surprise ghosts show up and mess everything up for our main characters.
I think in the last chapter you made a switch from Macy's view to Blair's view. You might want to look at that again. It's during the scene of them kicking the soccerball around in the house.
Macy is probably going to be keeping today a secret. I mean, who knows what Carlos would do to Blair if he found out!
But, depression and suicide is a tough battle to face. It doesn't just fix itself within a few months. Talking about it and finding friends help TREMENDOUSLY. But, it's still a battle you have to fae within yourself. It can't be won from the outside. Blair now has outside help, but he's still got to face his demons once and for all.
| Ruby Kart chapter 28 . 7/24/2010
I've finally caught up with all the chapters you've posted.
First off, WOW! It's amazing what you've written here. The story flows so smoothly, even with two totally different points of view. The conflict with Blair is still going on, but Macy has come into his life and turned it upsidedown for the better. It's really a nice change. I like the cute and charming Blair more than the disappointed one.
But, he's still having that nightmare, which has quite a bit to do with the plot, I'm sure. Something is going to happen, as to what it may be, it's still unsure in my mind. But he keeps blaming himself for it, and it's going to drive a peg between Macy and him. At least, that's what I think.
And Macy is opening up more. She's speaking to Blair and moving past her past. It's a huge step for her, even though it may not seem as big as the ghosts in Blair's closet, it's still quite a step to take.
Justin annoys me. I hope Blair gets to hit him again.
And I like Carlos. Still a big brother type of guy. What's not to love about his overbearing personality? JK
A few grammar tips that I notice. The first word of ANY sentence in quotation marks should be capitalized. For instance:
He laughed, "so if this is how you bowl, how do you ice skate?"
The 's' in "so" should really be capitalized. The only time you would not capitalize the first word of a quote is if the quote is interrupted. Example:
"So," he laughed, "if this is how you bowl, how do you ice skate?"
The 'i' in "if" isn't capitalized because it's not a new sentence - it's just continuing from the previous part.
Another thing to look out for, avoid doublt prepositions. Off is already a preposition, you don't need to say off of.
The story is still wonderful, and I would buy it if it were in book form. Thanks for all the updates! I've enjoyed reading :)