|Reviews for A love surpressed|
| fleur de l'est chapter 1 . 11/13/2009
A nice and well-developed poem, I like the way you're juxtaposing 'him' and 'her' side by side, but predominatly from the 'he' point of view. The break in the rhyme scheme at the end is great, it also lets the disciplined structure fall apart and show that things are different from our expectations.
I think the language in the first part seems a bit restricted by the rhyme scheme, some lines seem redundant or forced; but maybe that was deliberate, and in any case it would get better with practice :)