Reviews for What?
Khaled chapter 16 . 12/21/2010
Overall, I like this piece. A few suggestions:

the "alas" in the first stanza, though elegant on its own, almost seems to disrupt the flow. I don't think there is any harm in dropping it. Perhaps offers the idea of more confidence, but, not much more than that.

Then the line, "i'm so afraid of the part . . ."

feels a slight clumsy to me. Maybe consider reworking.

Ah, but, you're very talented.
Khaled chapter 14 . 12/21/2010
I dislike dreams that feel too real. Makes you feel groggy when you wake up. Oddly, a mirror was in my dream last night, too.
Khaled chapter 12 . 12/21/2010
I agree here. I think, though, some people have too addictive tendencies. Of course, for the lot of us who don't, creative power for the win, yes?
Khaled chapter 11 . 12/21/2010
Same boat.
Khaled chapter 10 . 12/21/2010
Nice concept here, though, not my favorite. I did like the last two lines, seeing Jesus as beauty then how tragedy follows. In a sense, proof of what humanity does to the miraculous. Destroys it.
Khaled chapter 8 . 12/21/2010
Funny how my favorite chapter thus far was written when you were stoned. Well, these things spark creativity. Not to say your writing is not intoxicating on it's own.
Khaled chapter 6 . 12/21/2010
That's interesting. I think it's good you've found what you need to do to release yourself creatively, anyhow.
Khaled chapter 5 . 12/21/2010
Khaled chapter 2 . 12/21/2010
Should you need much else?
Khaled chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
Sounds delightful already.
drink me pretty chapter 35 . 12/5/2010
by examining the consequences.
lymli chapter 20 . 12/2/2010
the message in this is wise though ironic too.
drink me pretty chapter 33 . 11/29/2010
why, oh why

are your haikus

the most superb things


i'm actually inspired.

for an apathetic individual

such as i, that is quite

the accomplishment.

thank you.
i think that maybe chapter 31 . 11/21/2010

can't say i didn't squee like a 11yearold beiberfangirl when i saw you posted (two things, at that!)

so mm, yeah,

i missed you.

post more

(&this- yeah. yeah. (yeah.))
Creeping Collarbones chapter 30 . 6/18/2010
I love this. I love love love reading your thoughts. It's honest and amazing. Thank you for posting them.
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