Reviews for Among the Ruins of Penwig Abbey
Strawberry Marmelade chapter 18 . 1/26/2010
This is kinda happy and kinda sad in a way...he's happy he's in a better camp (except for that meanie) and I'm sad he's losing memory of Ophelia. I can't ait to read more!
Armith-Greenleaf chapter 17 . 1/6/2010
Strangely, the "bored" explanation works for her, because it suits her character prior to the accident... er, bombing.

That reminds me, I know I sometimes sound SO annoying with all my yapyap about the technical details, but fuck it, that's what reviews are for. So here goes:

Ellipses.

Too many of those in dialogues. Too many!

Can't wait to read the next one. ;)

Best Wishes from AG
Armith-Greenleaf chapter 16 . 1/6/2010
Have I wished you a Happy New Year already? If not, Happy New Year!

The technical bits:

“Are sure we’re not dead, Hans?” Yup, whadda pain when this happens.

Also, in the last long paragraph of the chapter. I think it'd be better read if you break it down into two, or even three parts. First it talks about longing, then it talks about the veracity of his love. They're connected, yes, but they're two separate ideas. As it is, what would you say was the paragraph's main idea, if someone asked?

Anyway, I'd normally say the last part of the chapter moved too fast; four months passed in three paragraphs! But I don't care, I want to read what happens next. AhemAhem.

Best Wishes from AG
0123987 chapter 17 . 1/3/2010
ach nein!

They have to meet up somehow. I can picture Hans escaping to find her, haha. And I don't believe this secrecy will last very long, especially with such inquiring sisters.

So, does the matron really knew what was going on? you sort of left that hanging. And I also agree, there is definatly a lot of elipses. No worries though, it is still very good and I cannot wait for the next chapter.
Armith-Greenleaf chapter 15 . 12/30/2009
Aw gawd.

You're doing a good job here, because even though I try to remember there's a possibility he killed her parents, and that's most likely the reason why she doesn't *seem* to want to pursue this, I still keep ignoring that and think she's being a dummy for letting him go.

People can be really stubborn... even when in love.

So, ellipses. Useful little buggers. But beware, over-using them is not as good as it may seem, least of all in dialogue. That's what commas, semi colons and periods are for. (Voice of experience here, I went through an ellipses-abusing phase some time ago.)

Best Wishes from AG

PS. Happy early New Year!
Armith-Greenleaf chapter 14 . 12/30/2009
"Hans felt the sensation that he was swimming, submerged not in water, but some thick liquid reminiscent of syrup." NNIICEE. I liked that, very much.

Well, this truly is a sad situation. Can't help but sigh and wish; somewhat like Hans there at the very end.

Still, I can't help but point out that... even though I wasn't born in this war's time (otherwise I would most likely not be here), I don't really think the British army, nurses and related would be so civil to German captives. At the very least they would have gotten a whacking or two (here Hans was treated really nicely at the hospital...) Later at the POWs, which I guess were not as bad as a Nazi camp, I'm supposing they weren't treated like gents.

We'll see.

Best Wishes from AG
Strawberry Marmelade chapter 15 . 12/23/2009
This was so sad...lol keep this going! And i'll never stop reading :)

S.M.
strawberrie0 chapter 15 . 12/23/2009
WOW! This is fantastic... and I am so, so glad I chanced across it. Thank you for making my day, and hope to be seeing more :)
CrazyPirateMouse chapter 13 . 12/20/2009
Aw! Forbidden love! Gah! I don't want this to end!
joeysmommy chapter 1 . 12/18/2009
good start, I'm quite excited ]

random note - I've actually seen a movie called Dresden which is about a BRITISH pilot and and GERMAN nurse, I thought it was ironic haha
Strawberry Marmelade chapter 13 . 12/16/2009
That is SO sad, but SO cute!

S.M.
Candles and Firelight chapter 13 . 12/16/2009
This is such a sweet and moving story. I'm really enjoying it, and I'm at the edge of my seat hoping they end up together somehow in the end.
JastaAce11 chapter 12 . 12/13/2009
A very interesting case of semi- star crossed lovers? early in the making of course. I wouldn't trust the kraut if I were her. heh, just kidding. looking forward to more!
Strawberry Marmelade chapter 12 . 12/12/2009
This is so unbelievably written! It's amazing! Lol. I fell in love with the story at the first chapter.

S.M.
Armith-Greenleaf chapter 12 . 12/12/2009
*Dreamy sigh*

When people let themselves believe in a little magic, things happen.

Here's to hoping things work out. )

Btw on the last paragraph of the previous chapter:

“It seems so strange that you should say that tonight,” smiled Ophelia. “As I feel as though I am the coldest of all cold souls tonight. ..."

Those two tonights are redundant; the meaning wouldn't change at all if you got rid of one. Which one should be left, then? ;)

Another thing, I think I told you something about description before; I'm going to be more specific now. Your description is GOOD, but it's too separate from the dialogues. In one chapter you always have a piece of description followed by a string of standalone dialogues. Instead they should go hand in hand, because when someone is talking I need to know where they're standing, what they're doing, or anythig else that might be relevant to the moment. Mix them up!

Best Wishes from AG
193 | « Prev Page 1 .. 8 9 10 11 12 .. Last Next »