I love the pacing here, especially that last line of the first [paragraph? stanza?] - "oh she glances, only a glance but enough for a lifetime" - just a lovely rhythm there. These thoughts that occur to the boy are fabulous - "and what if she sees him glowing?" - I loved that one. I loved the progression of the meanings of the word "right" in the second paragraph/stanza and into the third, awesome transition, and then there's that rhythm again, this complicated buildup / decomposition of "right" followed by that simple "She's just there." And then you launch from right to "left" toward the end, and then that play with the colours...

Well done. Really well done.

This. Is. Beautiful.

In a heartachingly lovely sort of way. I'm not sure how I can explain that feeling to you, but it's the kind that makes you feel sorta... bittersweet, you know?

My favorite two parts:

What if she sees that all of his blood rushes to his cheeks and the rest of him is the combination of water and electricity, burning, exploding, heating, shocking, standing, staring, glancing, racing, wanting, waiting, wishing.

That and the whole driftwood paragraph.

I think you definitely captured unrequited love. Thank you for writing such a wonderful piece. :)

This is so sweet.