This is great, thank you!

The ending was a bit fast and she forgave him way to easy to be believable. Great story. :)

A great story

i think you should totally make a mafia story but with a chubby girl! your a great writer lol

wow...so many misses...work on your sentence, please.

And for a four years old, he seems to be SO intelligent. Do some research so that you will know the capacity of children with their age.

It's a nice basis for a story, however, you desperately need to check your chapters before publishing them. Throughout your story you mixed up 'here' and 'hear'; 'your' and 'you're';'meet' and 'meat'; you've missed multiple apostrophes and you've sometimes mixed your tenses in the same sentence. There are times when simple capital letters have been ignored. You'll have to learn how to edit eventually, start now - or at least get a beta.

Whew, what a great story this is. I love it. You did a fine job. I read this in one night. That's how awesome it was. I couldn't click out of it. lol. Thanks for putting this awesome story up! Hope to read more from you!

aw... this is so cute.

Good Job! I really enjoyed that:)

keep writing.

I enjoyed reading this

I can't wait to read the sqeual!:) ;)

you need to read over your chapters and edit them.

that man is an ass completey gd story

Amazing! wow

The overall premise of this story is really good; there are a few problems with grammar and spelling, but nothing too major, I suppose. From the epilogue, some corrections:

"I haven't forgiven you yet," Brooke says two months later.

"Come on, Brooke! I didn't want to hurt you like that. It couldn't be helped," I say to her. "Please forgive me, baby." At this I make a puppy dog face and hand her chocolate.

As Brooke laughs at this, I hear her say something that I couldn't catch.

"What was that?" I ask.

"I wasn't talking about that. It's the fact that you bought that puppy for Dane!" she says.

I laugh as I remember the look on her face when and Dane and I brought that St. Bernard puppy home. Brooke and Dane moved into the family house a few days after the attack on her. She gave the daycare to her only employee who graduated a few months before I came back; she still goes there once in awhile. Brooke now takes care of all the mafia children around the house.

"I love you," I tell her for the first time since I came back. She stops laughing and looks up at me. With a smile she throws her hands around my neck. "I love you, too. So much. If you ever leave me again though I will come looking for you and cut off your balls with a rusty knife," I hear her say in my throat.

"I will be waiting for it with my pants down," I say as I start to kiss her.

"Ew. They're doing it again, Uncle Dantae," we hear Dane say. I start to kiss Brooke with a lot more noise just to bug him; I get a scream from the little boys with a "run away" from Dantae and my brothers.

Life is good.

-

Since the entire epilogue is in present tense, I changed the last line "Life was good" to "Life is good."

So that's the entire epilogue, corrected. :D And as yet another note, you also spelled epilogue incorrectly. I do that a lot as well. XD

Happy writing!

-Tear My World Down

Also, having conversations in bold (when you want us to think it's all going on in Italian) isn't very effective. Try and find some Italian phrases to put in, or just stick with English.

It's a little silly to tell people to pretend something is in another language when you haven't made the effort to do anything other than look up a few basic words.

Basically, just keep it all in English or use actual Italian.

You really should proofread your work. There are a lot of places where you are missing words, or you've spelled something incorrectly.

Examples:

“Did you know?” I ask. -should be- "Did you now?"

“I was nice you all again.” I yelled out sarcastically. -should be- "It was to see you all again."

Little things like that (which are present in all the chapters) really detract from the story.