Reviews for Autumn Afternoon
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 10 . 5/19/2010
Great!
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 9 . 5/19/2010
:)
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 8 . 5/19/2010
Great!
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 7 . 5/19/2010
Great description!
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 6 . 5/19/2010
Great!
simpleplan13 chapter 6 . 5/14/2010
I like the idea here a lot. Something that is supposed to save you actually killing you. I also think you explained it well in second and third lines. I also like how the title fits in to the piece. Almost as if it could be the first line. Th a/n was helpful to for the reader to understand the symbolism here. The only thing is that last part "slip under" it just didn't seem to fit for me. First of all I feel like it should be slips 'cause she is the subject unless it's supposed to be a command, but by whom? It also just seemed like an odd way to describe what was happening there.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (links in my profile)
simpleplan13 chapter 3 . 5/14/2010
I love the title. It's really creative and an interesting concept. The only this is I don't get the first line. First of all it doesn't seem like a sentence. You need an object for that sentence and because there is no object I have no idea what the amber glow is saving. I also wish you had explained a bit more what this amber glow is. Also, the last line using sanity when you had insanity in the title seemed a bit repetitive for such a short piece.
simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 5/14/2010
I really love that last line. The description there is really powerful. The title kinda confused me though, I'm not sure how it related to the piece. Also, in the second line I didn't like the word and. It just seems like such a filler word in such a short piece with limited syllables. Even changing "and brands" to "branding" would sound better I think.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or the Review Marathon (links in my profile)
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 5 . 5/13/2010
great!
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 4 . 5/13/2010
Great!
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 3 . 5/13/2010
Great description!
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 2 . 5/13/2010
Great!
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
I like that you explained what a Katatuta was since I didn't know. It helped me understand what to look for in the piece.

I liked the piece as well. I like the color descriptions. Copper read was a great contrast to yellow grass. I also like that you used yellow grass since it's not a part of autumn that you see a lot, but it is part of autumn.

I love that last line. It's such a great way to describe how they fell. It creates such a beautiful image.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile.)
Isca chapter 1 . 11/22/2009
Cool format.

"Drift down." Nice alliteration.

"Copper red leaves." Vivid image.
Phoebe Melinda Halliwell chapter 1 . 11/21/2009
Great poem!
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