Reviews for Gentle Awakening |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Woosh that was hard to intake. But very poetic indeed. It gives the creeps. And I certainly didn't expect that ending. You're good. |
![]() ![]() ![]() - Nice refrences to Romeo and Juliet and Shakespere. Good use of you're thous and credits. - Nice imagery and descriptions of sleeping beauty and the prince are direct and flowery, then dark and disturbing. - A bit mature and graphic, but you warned me. - Damn! This is some crazy Romeo and Juliet story mutant merged with Sleeping Beauty mixed with Psycho! Nerve rattling writing, Keep writing, would you kindly, Kackex |
![]() ![]() ![]() oh wow. Killer of an ending twist! Insane and dark but rich and powerful too. "I will stretch you like a violin string across the violin waves of your bed, and I am going to pluck this string and produce an infinitesimal stream of divine melody. And I am going to kill you, Sleeping Beauty." That was my favourite line. That and the one about the snake entwining her. for CC, occasionally I found teh descriptions a little confusing and distracting, like :"Golden curls wash along his pleated shoulders, and the lines of his back ripple like angel's wings" so i get that teh pleats are probablyu teh cloth he is wearing, but why his back ripples, i don't know ? Is he part reptile or something? :) Otherwise, great stuff! thanks! |
![]() ![]() This is, like, a retelling of the original Sleeping Beauty. The end's just different. I really like it, though, because most people just retell the revised version and not the original. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow... |
![]() ![]() This had such beautiful poetry woven throughout it- stunning, lovely poetry that strikes despite the content. such intensity! Loved every word. |
![]() ![]() ![]() First off, wow. An odd retelling. I especially love the first line "For hundreds of years has she lain dormant, a volcano heart encased in a veil of ice". The descriptions are very nice and detailed, but a little flourished I think. And mind that "nakedness" is involuntary, it's "nudity" that's voluntary. The story is an interesting, dark twist - not my usual read - but captivatng nonetheless. Just a few things: 1) "Yes, the Prince whispers. My Sleeping Beauty, my lovely rose." - I feel it's easier if you give some kind of indication beforehand that it's what he is thinking. 2) "Those who peek, unfortunate souls, are stretched on torture racks." - I think it should be written as "Those who peek - unfortunate souls - are" 3) "hen he slides to the cavern of her mouth and fills it, utterly, completely, parting the red ribbon with his moist and fervent love." - this is a little too elaborate and a bit difficult to understand. 4) "(She is not dead, merely asleep.)" - This can be written as a simple statement |
![]() ![]() ![]() Your prose in this piece is wonderful. Dark and erotic, but not in an over-the-top kinky way. It's sadistic, but strangely beautiful. I really enjoyed reading this. The Romeo and Juliet quotes were a nice touch. I found them a bit odd and distracting at first, but, in the end, they entertwined very well with the storyline, and I came to appreciate them. Not really much else I think I can say, except that I absolutely loved it. Necrophilia, incest, and all. I really can't find anything I didn't like about this story. This is a pretty amazing piece of work. Kudos. :] |
![]() ![]() ![]() o...very different. I like it but it's not really the end right? Hahah! And I do admire Romeo and Juliet and was pleased to see some of Shakespeare's fine work! |