Reviews for Gentle Awakening
Dandy352 chapter 1 . 3/17/2013
Woosh that was hard to intake. But very poetic indeed. It gives the creeps. And I certainly didn't expect that ending. You're good.
Kackex chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
- Nice refrences to Romeo and Juliet and Shakespere. Good use of you're thous and credits.

- Nice imagery and descriptions of sleeping beauty and the prince are direct and flowery, then dark and disturbing.

- A bit mature and graphic, but you warned me.

- Damn! This is some crazy Romeo and Juliet story mutant merged with Sleeping Beauty mixed with Psycho!

Nerve rattling writing, Keep writing, would you kindly,

sophiesix chapter 1 . 2/19/2010
oh wow.

Killer of an ending twist! Insane and dark but rich and powerful too.

"I will stretch you like a violin string across the violin waves of your bed, and I am going to pluck this string and produce an infinitesimal stream of divine melody.

And I am going to kill you, Sleeping Beauty."

That was my favourite line. That and the one about the snake entwining her.

for CC, occasionally I found teh descriptions a little confusing and distracting, like :"Golden curls wash along his pleated shoulders, and the lines of his back ripple like angel's wings" so i get that teh pleats are probablyu teh cloth he is wearing, but why his back ripples, i don't know ? Is he part reptile or something? :)

Otherwise, great stuff! thanks!
Paw chapter 1 . 2/14/2010
This is, like, a retelling of the original Sleeping Beauty. The end's just different. I really like it, though, because most people just retell the revised version and not the original.
Long Island Iced Tea chapter 1 . 12/16/2009
Mori chapter 1 . 11/25/2009
This had such beautiful poetry woven throughout it- stunning, lovely poetry that strikes despite the content. such intensity! Loved every word.
NocturnalNerd chapter 1 . 11/25/2009
First off, wow. An odd retelling.

I especially love the first line "For hundreds of years has she lain dormant, a volcano heart encased in a veil of ice".

The descriptions are very nice and detailed, but a little flourished I think. And mind that "nakedness" is involuntary, it's "nudity" that's voluntary.

The story is an interesting, dark twist - not my usual read - but captivatng nonetheless.

Just a few things:

1) "Yes, the Prince whispers. My Sleeping Beauty, my lovely rose." - I feel it's easier if you give some kind of indication beforehand that it's what he is thinking.

2) "Those who peek, unfortunate souls, are stretched on torture racks." - I think it should be written as "Those who peek - unfortunate souls - are"

3) "hen he slides to the cavern of her mouth and fills it, utterly, completely, parting the red ribbon with his moist and fervent love." - this is a little too elaborate and a bit difficult to understand.

4) "(She is not dead, merely asleep.)" - This can be written as a simple statement
Mizzuz Spock chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
Your prose in this piece is wonderful. Dark and erotic, but not in an over-the-top kinky way. It's sadistic, but strangely beautiful. I really enjoyed reading this.

The Romeo and Juliet quotes were a nice touch. I found them a bit odd and distracting at first, but, in the end, they entertwined very well with the storyline, and I came to appreciate them.

Not really much else I think I can say, except that I absolutely loved it. Necrophilia, incest, and all. I really can't find anything I didn't like about this story.

This is a pretty amazing piece of work. Kudos. :]
Jenn Austen chapter 1 . 11/22/2009
o...very different. I like it but it's not really the end right? Hahah! And I do admire Romeo and Juliet and was pleased to see some of Shakespeare's fine work!