Reviews for Golden
Rowvle chapter 2 . 4/23/2010
I love this story !

It's so mysterious, the four boys seem sora shifty.

I'm guessing that they might be werewolves or vampires, but don't laugh at me if I'm wrong and they're just normal guys XD

I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter :P
Rowvle chapter 1 . 4/23/2010
Ahh! I love this story already!

You get a real insight to her character already even though its only the first chapter !

The second sentence is really good, I like the way you described the words as slipping through her fingers as if she couldn't stop them.

Great work! Keep this up ! :D
Fleur du Destin chapter 3 . 4/19/2010
Hey, I got your message and I just wanted to say that I really like your story so far. I'm sort of addicted to it. :D There are somethings though that need a little bit of work (like puntuation and maybe separating the thoughts in a different way). Actually, I would love to beta this if you wanted. But yeah, just wanted to say that I like it and I'll continue to read it (but homework awaits... that's as long as I dont try to sneak in another chapter XD ))

LYAL! XD

Fleur. :D
Violet-Madness chapter 15 . 4/19/2010
Love it! Can't wait for the next chapter!
J.L. Lofthouse chapter 3 . 4/18/2010
He seems like a really stuck up git, im glad she said no :)
J.L. Lofthouse chapter 1 . 4/18/2010
hey, nice beginning it really makes me curious on what its all about, more like it hooks the reader in with this prologue :)
Violet-Madness chapter 13 . 4/18/2010
Wow . . . pixies. That's neat (not to mention original) Love the intricacy of this world you've created.
Violet-Madness chapter 12 . 4/18/2010
HOLY CRAP. THIS IS AWESOME. But, no worries, I haven't forgotten suggestions!

1) "But I had been so focus on the fact that she was wearing make up, to hind those dark circles . . ." should be "But I had been focussed on the fact that she was wearing makeup, to hide those dark circles . . ."

2) "I knew that Damon would hesitant to hurt Keith" is probably "I knew that Damon wouldn't be hesitant to hurt" OR "I knew that Damon wouldn't hesitate to hurt"

3) "Clam down Damon" should be "Calm down Damon"
Violet-Madness chapter 11 . 4/18/2010
Great chapter! Loved the showdown between Madison and Bonnie.

1) "As he drag me outside and led me to the soccer stands" should be "As he dragged me . . ."

2) "But it felt like he was doing something far worst" should be " . . . . . . . far worse"
Violet-Madness chapter 10 . 4/18/2010
Had fun trying to figure out the mysteries of the 'brothers'!

1) "The wordsplayed over and over in my head" should be "The words played over and over in my head"

2) "Then looked at the clock and saw it was passed eleven" should be "Then looked at the clock and saw it was past eleven"

3) "I wondered why he or mom hadn't wakened me up" should be "I wondered why he or mom hadn't woken me up"

4) "I went to the fig and opened it" should be "I went to the frige and opened it"

5) "After my toast was done I ate it in salience" should be "After my toast was done I ate it in silence"

6) "Police are even talking about putting a cawfew for miners" should be "Police are even talking about putting a curfew for minors"

7) "Then why are you made at me" should be "Then why are you mad at me"
Violet-Madness chapter 9 . 4/18/2010
Enjoyed every minute of this chapter, especially the near-argument between Bonnie and her mom. The cliffie ending was also enjoyable.

1) "I will not let it happened again" should be "I will not let it happen again"

2) "I let my eyes scanned the room" should be "I let my eyes scan the room"

3) "By the time it was done I was tried" should be "By the time it was done I was tired"

4) "She was looking at me just like how my mom would when she was growing inpatient" should be ". . . . when she was growing impatient"

5) "Keith eyes held the strongest glace" should be "Keith's eyes held the strongest gaze (OR glance)"

6) "Right, I beat you love that" should be "Right, I bet you love that"

7) "I didn't know why all of there eyes where on me" should be "I didn't know why all of their eyes were on me"

8) "Well I was wondering, if you where doing something this weekend" should be "Well, I was wondering if you were doing something this weekend"
Violet-Madness chapter 8 . 4/18/2010
Love it! Love Jay! He's really growing on me! He seems like the kind of guy I love reading about. Jay sorta kinda reminds me of the Mortal Instruments Series's Jace- but cooler. And with brothers.

1) "That's when his eyes meant mine" should be "That's when his eyes met mine"

2) "I was starting to get very hunger" should be "I was starting to get very hungry"

3) "A hand went around my waist and I felt myself hint Jay's chest" should be "A hand went around my waist and I felt myself hit Jay's chest"

4) "True I at my moments when I didn't feel beautiful" should be "True, I had my moments when I didn't feel beautiful"

5) "He smiled at me and grabbed a napkin only to wrap something away from my lips" should be "He smiled at me and grabbed a napkin only to wipe something away from my lips"

6) "Ever heard of the saying curiousitykilled the cat" should be "Ever heard of the saying, 'curiousity killed the cat'?"

7) Twice in the same section you use the 'so I could give her-her money back'. You don't have to put a hyphen between the two, or, even better, you can simply use Mary's name.

8) "I've been a jerk these pass few days" should be "I've been a jerk these past few days"
Violet-Madness chapter 7 . 4/18/2010
Excellent chapter! Enjoyed the face-off.

1) "I turned my stirring wheel and went to park" should be "I turned my steering wheel and went to park"

2) I've been noticing that you often accidentally spell "Nathanial" instead of "Nathaniel". Typo, probably.

3) "Don't tell me you throw your drink at him again" should be "Don't tell me you threw your drink at him again"

4) "'If you do that again please let me, so I can be in the room ok?'" should be "'If you do that again please let me know, so that I can be in the room, ok?'"

5) "I am to hunger" should be "I am too hungry"

6) "Jay wasn't over reacting when he said you have a firer temper" should be "Jay wasn't overreacting when he said you have a fiery temper"

7) "They have all kinds, I supposed" should be "They have all kinds, I suppose"

8) "I liked when I had new cloths that looked nice" should be "I liked when I had new clothes that looked nice"
Violet-Madness chapter 6 . 4/18/2010
Wow! Bonnie's mom seems very bitter.

1) "'Get that glace from your eyes'" confuses me. What is glace? Could you explain/ameliorate this sentence?

2) ". . . since she was the one who through the water on me" should be " . . . since she was the one who threw the water on me"

3) "I waited for the toast to get done" should be "I waited for the toast to finish" Just a stylistic suggestion.

4) "She was already head over hills" should be "head over heels"

5) "He started to breath in deeply" should be "He started to breathe in deeply"

6) "I hadn't know what the answers where but I had done my homework" should be "I hadn't known what the answers were but I had done my homework"

7) "That's why people dry their hair" should be "That's why people dye their hair"

8) "Madison eyes shot Reed a hatful look" should be "Madison's eyes shot Reed a hateful look"

9) "She light sun colored skin was the only thing that looked nice on her" should be "Her light, sun-coloured skin was the only thing that looked nice on her"

10) "But then I saw how you two where looking at each other" should be "But then I saw how you two were looking at each other"
Violet-Madness chapter 5 . 4/18/2010
Great chapter!

1) "It got quite on the other line" should be "It got quiet on the other line"

2) "'Okay, by me lunch tomorrow'" should be "'Okay, buy me lunch tomorrow'"

3) "I wanted Mary to keep bring food over the house" should be "I wanted Mary to keep bringing food over to the house"

4) "I looked passed her to the refrigerator" should be "I looked past her to the refrigerator"

5) "Curiositykilled the cat" should be "Curiosity killed the cat" Probably a typo, right? I'm terrible for those.
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