|Reviews for The Moments Between|
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 12/12/2009
Interesting premise and definitely an original take on the prompt. It feels a bit choppy to me, as well as a bit too prosey for a poem. But then, that's just my opinion, too. I also wish there was more action in this, too; it's a bit passive in tense. Still, I wish you luck in the WCC and keep writing! :)
| MacNasty chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
I'm no poet so I can't really comment on the technicalities of this... so I won't. I did like this though, it definitely does have a mystical feel to it, which isn't something I come across in poems (when I do read them).
"A being born to bring change."
This line especially stood out to me. It is powerful and connects the first half of the poem with the rest.
Anyway, nice work on this and good luck in the WCC. I apologize that this was such a crappy review.
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
I liked the indecision presented here: it left the piece open for interpretation. It felt like the beginning of a story, and it worked well with the idea.
Good luck in WCC!
| Fractured Illusion chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
I think you mean Its?
Anyway, I wouldn't have minded at all if you had decided to make this longer. It felt like there was a larger story here and we didn't get to know enough so to speak.
Ominious ending btw :D
Good luck in WCC
| Narq chapter 1 . 12/4/2009
Ah, a poem.
Don't see many of those in the WCC conest!
Anyways, it was very interesting, but I would have liked to know more. What was she turning into? A "Harbinger"? what's that?
At first I thought you were going on something like a werewolf spree.. but turned out it wasn't.
"It was time for judgment to begin" - ah, a very pulling last line that made me shout, MORE MORE MORE!
Good luck for the WCC conest!
| Mizzuz Spock chapter 1 . 12/4/2009
I like the way you describe her "metamorphosis," and I especially love how you do it in so few lines. Even with so little words, you weave an interesting story.
I really loved the line: "The fabric of her being was being torn and rearranged..." I don't know. Something about it struck me as really poetic, and it stuck on the most to me.
The uncertainty of the girl's future at the end really works for me. It's a nice conclusion.
Good luck in the WCC! :]
| Lea Ai chapter 1 . 12/2/2009
This was well-written. You did a great job of bringing your reader through the process of her change.
This seems like a good prelude-are you going to develop this further?
Good luck with WCC!