Reviews for Fruits
xenolith chapter 1 . 12/4/2009
Oh this has soo much potential. All it needs is a touch up! I really really liked the slice-of-life quality on this, and the focus on the conversation and the simple act of eating a piece of fruit. I felt like these two people were very real. What I meant about the touch up was the formatting, just spacing out the lines of dialogue to make it more user friendly, and there were a couple obvious typos that suggest no um, fault on your part. I enjoyed reading this. I enjoyed the ending. And I definately think it could be really great!