|Reviews for Mr Maglorian's Grisly Fare|
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 12/10/2009
It was a good effort but there were a lot of spelling mistakes which distracted me such as 'pol' instead of 'pole' and 'their' instead of 'there'. Try to work on those.
| Lea Ai chapter 1 . 12/10/2009
The description of the dog biting off his finger was very vivid...I cringed when you described the crunch...ugh!
And again...YUCK at the end! UGH! Very vivid imagery.
There were quite a few misspellings that were very distracting, but this was otherwise an interesting piece. You have talent as a writer, but you need to verify your homonyms are used correctly. Something to think about in the future.
Good luck in the WCC!
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
I loved the first and last lines that most. They were both shocking and good hooks.
This was a neat idea. The writing style was smooth and the plot flowed nicely. :)
Good luck in WCC!
| Inkspilled chapter 1 . 12/4/2009
Wow, that was certainly an interesting story. Very strange, but nicely written, too. Although the spelling mistakes and grammar was a bit distracting; there were a couple sentences I never really understood.
Morbid, grim but amusing because of it's fable-like style. I like this story, though I'd advise you to spell-check or get a beta-reader. Overall, one of the more amusing stories I'd read.
Good luck in WCC! :)
Oh, and to post it as a link, when you're replying, type the name of your story, highlight it (then the link button becomes clickable) and click the button that looks like a chain (stands for link, it's the fourth from the left), and you should be able to type in the URL of your story.
It's alright, I had trouble with that too; it being my first time on the forums.
| Mizzuz Spock chapter 1 . 12/4/2009
This is an interesting story, with kind of an urban legend vibe to it. Especially with the ferryman who kept demanding his fare.
But I felt the premise for Mr. Maglorian's death seemed a little far-fetched. Also, it's never really explained why his dog would just up and bite him like that, which kind of bothered me. (Though I do like how you included a flesh-eating disease that crept up his arm, almost like a symbol of his impending doom.)
I'm a bit confused with the end. About the coins not being money, I get that, but I was unsure that the ferryman would accept fingers. (Though nice touch with Mr. Maglorian's desperation in biting them off.) xD
I really had to suspend my belief to get this piece to work for me, but I did enjoy it, all the same.
Good luck in WCC! :]
Also, some misspellings I found:
* "Wrap" is misspelled a few times as "rap"
* hinted at under the taught [should be "taut"] fabric of the mask were wrong.
* A fat beadle [should be "beetle"] landed on the ferryman's