Reviews for White Picket Aspirations
A Rose in Weeds chapter 1 . 9/1/2010
ur imagery is so very beautiful nd powerful keep writing
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/19/2010
"to inspire/My mind"... Inspire seems like an odd word choice here. It sounds like they're convincing your mind to manipulating your mind not inspiring it. Or maybe inspire your mind to believe?

"which definately includes you"...definitely

I like the format here. I think the long lines work really well and I liked where you placed you line breaks. The piece itself well well written and showed a nice glimpse into not only your relationship with this person, but also the type of person you are. Well done.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile.)
May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 12/19/2009
I really liked this. Quite powerful. Great work.
Melanie Layugan chapter 1 . 12/17/2009
Just wow! The metaphors and allusions. And I can relate to how you feel. But as long as you stay true, they'll give up on trying to convince you otherwise :) And yes, I know I'm behind! Girl, keep on writing!
BangxDitto chapter 1 . 12/15/2009
Wow.

I really hate how well you use the english language! D

It's so...your stuff should be in like the English books for schools. I'm mondo jealous.

Nice poem, I think it's about dissonace in a family setting? Like we've all gone through that, but I really like how you depicted it.
gone4good chapter 1 . 12/13/2009
That is righteous babe. And so kind of you- sure hope that person lives up to your expectations. Not all of us are so lofty.

Keep the reviews coming. I need 'em }
DaoineSidhe91 chapter 1 . 12/12/2009
Great piece! I really like how it flows together unexpectedly. One critique: The rhythm seems a little inconsistent, although that may be due to my lack of sleep finally catching up to me. ;) Keep writing, you have a fantastic voice!
nickyO chapter 1 . 12/11/2009
There's a great deal of wisdom here, setting limits but still having a loving heart and knowing yourself. *Applauding. You go girl.
letyoursoultakeflight chapter 1 . 12/10/2009
Wow, really liked this one! I love the imagery in it. I wasn't expecting it to be filled with so much and was most pleasently surprised! :)
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 12/9/2009
Crystal goblet dropped.

Red stains where sharp glass now cuts,—

Rorschach inkblot tests.
Little Miss Cullen Cutie chapter 1 . 12/9/2009
I LOVE the part about your soul being God's prism! Beautifully written! I love all your stuff!

Little Miss Cullen Cutie
Punslinger chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
You really made me feel the agonized longing of two disjointed souls trying to connect. Keep up the good work.
Isca chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
"The signal to remove her lid." Creative metaphor.
Random-Idiocity chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
Wow. This was absolutely wonderful, job well done. Keep it Up!
East-0f-Eden chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
I love all the allusions and metaphors you use! :)