|Reviews for Nevermore|
| last train home chapter 24 . 12/31/2016
fuck this was so good!
The hospital imagery was epic and the word choice was perfect.
"to become a surgery cradle through the / straw of my hair / the soft of my breast / the wheel of my hip" - i loved this
And I also loved the ending, "with a feast of IV bruises / and tapestries of medical tape"
| Elaina McKenzie Sharpe chapter 14 . 4/2/2011
Wow. I really liked a lot of these. You're great at writing poems. And I like how they didn't always rhyme, but still flowed well together. And they weren't always happy.
| thewhimsicalbard chapter 11 . 10/19/2010
[RG - Poems - Depth]
You've picked a powerful subject to write about, one which is rapidly gaining popularity in the world of poetry recently. I'm not going to ruin the interpretation for anyone else, but you're pretty brave to write about this. It's challenging, as an author, to put yourself into the mind and character of someone with whom you cannot perfectly empathize. Personally, I think you pulled it off.
The two voices of this poem - the parent and the child - compliment each other perfectly, plus you have the voice of the narrator thrown in there occasionally. If you decide to go back and do another draft of this poem, I would highly suggest eliminating the narrator's voice and instead speaking from the point of view of the parent or the child.
My only suggestion on your word choice is to lessen the use of the word "love." It's very abstract, and you repeat it just a few too many times in this piece for it to be totally complimentary to your piece. The overuse of abstraction distracted me a little bit.
Your poem was very aesthetically pleasing. The only suggestion I have it to make a stanza break after lines 8 and 21. That gives the poem a suggestion of each stanza being represented as a breath. I personally think that would be a great addition to your poem.
I think that, overall, this poem accomplished what it intended to from the outset. Though I try to keep personal taste out of reviews where it relates to content, this one struck a chord with me as a reader. It was a very moving piece to read. Well-written indeed.
| Isca chapter 9 . 12/16/2009
"Makes me feel." I love your use of enjambment between this line and the next - it really adds to the speaker's personality and inner turmoil.
"This is homesickness." I like this line. It's fascinating that the speaker tells her mother, "I do not miss you," and then so obviously feels nostalgic - as if her true feelings of homesickness are a weakness that must be masked by stoicism.
"You feel the almost-ache." Wow. What a striking line. :)
(The Review Game - Poems - Easy Fix)
| DefineBeauty chapter 8 . 12/16/2009
hm, interesting. i think that if you added some more punctuation, it would help really help the flow of this piece, especially in the first stanza. it's a little confusing, because without any punctuation there, the reader just reads through quickly without pausing and it's a little distracting in my opinion.
i really like the second stanza and how the narrator explains what happened. it's unique in a way, and i like the imagery it gives off, especially in the lines "The dust was replaced with
Luscious green" and "To join that dust"
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 12/11/2009
I liked the images you created with the "sitting in a wood" , "hands as twined as their scarves" and the way you use simile to convey more imagery with "like ash brimming from cooling lips" so your poem is rich with a lot of literary techniques. I found myself a little bored, mostly because it isn't my type of subject, but when I go back to reread it I do find it rich with great descriptions, I'm just not sure I was captivated by its meaning...or maybe I just didn't get the meaning at all :S. But besides me missing the point, which can happen a lot with poetry so it's not necessarily important that every reader "get" it, it had a really good rhythm and employed a great free verse form. I also liked the way you ended it because it was unique and almost like an afterward. All in all a very solid piece!