|Reviews for Tonight, we last forever|
| The Golden Orchid chapter 1 . 6/1/2012
beautiful, honest, sad and heart breaking. all in all, a well written poem. but i don't like the pessimism in some of the lines. instead of "because even we will break up" maybe you could write, "because we may not last, but i love you now." something along those lines, something that makes the poem a little less heart breaking. because exceptions always exist. heart break isn't always certain. but it was beautiful nonetheless. i loved it :)
| GoneAway-MightNotBeReturning chapter 1 . 7/16/2011
So, I haven't read any of your poems before and though this was very prosaic and not at all purple prosey, I think it was beautiful in its own simplicity and sadness.
I don't know, why, but maybe its because of the raw honesty and the realism and acknowledgement that love doesn't always last forever, even though you do want it to, that makes it so sad and thus so beautiful.
You captured these feelings very well, though.
Did it have to be so depressing though? :D
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
I've read this over a couple of times now and I think that the strongest line is different the last. I'd suggest maybe taking out the comma after "tonight" just to make it more concrete and assuring.
I like how the speaker is honest and goes back and forth with their notions of love and whether or not it will last. I also enjoyed the repetition of "because I love you now" because it did have some permanence and I think it's a line that's very universal for a lot of couples and cane be related to easily.
The second to last stanza, which was set apart as four lines, worked well too. The break in the format became unexpected and stood out for more obvious reasons than the way you formatted it, but also because it's sort of pivotal center of the poem-the idea of making love, ect.
Overall, it worked well!