|Reviews for Written in the Clouds|
| Punslinger chapter 11 . 10/8/2010
Congratulations! Let me know if you are going to celebrate with a champagne party.
| Narq chapter 11 . 10/8/2010
Ah. Great job!
I was wondering, what? There's another chapter? :D
| Michael Howard chapter 11 . 10/8/2010
Awesome news! There's nobody on this website who deserves it more.
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| RetardedChicken chapter 10 . 1/5/2010
:( sad, so very sad. I think I many cry. Anyways enough about how sad it was, even if it was very sad, you're an incredible writer. Descriptions throughout all of the chapters were beatifully written. Even though it was such a sad ending, I loved the last line, 'Beneath the shining sun, the land lay soaked in rain. The monsoon clouds had retreated high into the sky, as white and as bright as angels.' so amazing. Obviously I can't give any critism considering how bad my story was. Thanks so much for all the help I have now went nack and changed half of it! YOu grammar and everthing was lets see... perfect!
| Michael Howard chapter 10 . 12/29/2009
Of course there is no way to review the final chapter of a story like this with revealing how it all ends, so spoiler alert. And again:
Okay, then. I really liked this couple and was not at all happy that Badal had to die. Emphasis on the words 'had to.' As you put yourself: "Life cannot progress without death." And also "A life for a life." I don't have to accept that philosophy on a personal level. I'm just a visitor here in your literary universe where you set the laws of nature and of fate.
And even though his death hit me like boot kick to the belly, in retrospect I can see that this conclusion was foreshadowed, predestined if you will, in previous chapters in a skillful and effective manner. (Examples: you can't really hold onto a cloud no matter how tight your grasp, Vani's tragic decision to not "reach further above and disrupt that balance?" - oh, and for that matter, the story title itself.)
So, a happy ending here? Far from it. But it was powerful, moving, and completely unforgettable.
Thank you for writing this.
| CuriousContradiction chapter 10 . 12/26/2009
Oh noo. :(
I was bracing myself for the tragedy, but it was still unexpected. All good things come to an end, huh? Beautiful, beautiful descriptions, especially at the beginning. I don't know if you did this intentionally, but I noticed that you started off with Badal's white shirt in the first chapter and ended with white clouds in the end. I mean... obviously, it's your story and you probably had a certain feel that you were going for and it was perfectly wonderful as a sorta depressing ending, but just in my head, I was thinking about how Vani could've emphasized that because she still had Badal's baby in her belly, there was still some "color in her life." You know? Okay, maybe not, haha. I don't know what I'm saying.
Anyways, this is my favorite story of anything you've ever written. You should be proud of yourself for finishing another story! :)
(By the way, I love jaangiri!)
| Narq chapter 10 . 12/24/2009
This is what my sister says: "I'm going to get the dog to read it too! excuse the fact that dogs can't read." DX
But... I can't believe you STILL made it a tradgedy... oh Soph!
But that was heartbreaking!
| Narq chapter 9 . 12/24/2009
I'm getting my sister to read this story :D
I love it!
excuse my short, worthless reviews.
| Michael Howard chapter 9 . 12/24/2009
Among this story's many virtues is authenticity. You have captured the sights and smells, and the customs and beliefs, of this settling is amazing detail. Are you sure you really live in Australia?
| Michael Howard chapter 8 . 12/23/2009
"But here, for the first time, she had felt was it was to be truly alone."
That first 'was' is supposed to be a 'what' I believe.
"the hero flawed but always ultimately came good"
Should that be 'became' there or is my American ear making me miss what would be an acceptable word use in other countries?
Quite understandably, Vani has internal scars as well, and if Badal keeps pushing the idea of a family reunion, it could result in consequences that neither of them are prepared for.
The compelling nature of this story continues.
| Narq chapter 8 . 12/22/2009
Yayayay... oh the joy... am going to Hong kong in the next couple of hours... (yuck!)
would so rather sit in front of the computer and read this wonderful story.
| Michael Howard chapter 7 . 12/22/2009
Wonderful chapter, brimming with heartfelt emotions (and terrific imagery like clouds dragging their feet on an overcast day). But that ending worries me. What happens next?
| Narq chapter 7 . 12/22/2009
I have a mind to damn you...but this is such a wonderful story I wouldn't miss it for the world