JJsMommy29 chapter 1 . 6/19/2012
you totally started this out really good you should update it would love to see what happens next and this story so keep up the amazing work and update soon
Juliet Scar chapter 1 . 1/18/2012
I enjoyed this story a lot! By the way... I LOVE the whole nerd geekish thing he has going on! Hahahaaa :D
nitroglycerin and cyanide chapter 1 . 12/16/2009
The grammar is bad, along with the spelling. Here's a tip for the future - you can MAKE new chapters, you don't have to put all the chapters in one chapter. It's just messy.

Also, PLEASE make a new paragraph for every new speaker. For example:

""Ya... j...jus...just a.. a... little.. ". Lara spoke next, " I think more than just alittle judging by how red your face is but i think it makes you look cute." Almost on que all three started laughing but with smiling eyes which made me blush even more.

Sara said , "We're just out for a bit to see what the nieghborhood is like care to show us around?"

All three were now smiling at me which didn't ease any of my blush as of yet however i indicated by saying, "Umm... I... quess... i.. can.. " i stuttered again."


The characters, imo, is a little cookie-cutter and the idea is a bit over done. It can be original if you avoid all the nasty cliche stuff (that no one likes - at all).

I think you should look over the story and fix all the spelling and grammar mistakes.
eaststar chapter 1 . 12/16/2009
Cute, but that is NOT NOT NOT how girls act, I hope. I guess it depends on what girls you know. These kinda freaked me out :p I'm interested in this and will review in the next chapter!