|Reviews for Dream|
| CheriB chapter 1 . 9/30/2010
I really liked this. The contrast of dreams and reality is very nice, and I get the sense that her real life is not that pleasant.
The only thing that bothered me (and this is a pet peeve of mine) is when you described what she wore. That's the only thing, even though it's not really that big of a deal.
Overall, a great story. You definitely have talent, being able to craft a whole story from a picture. Keep up the good work! :)
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
Well, I understand the hurt/comfort sub genre here, but I don't get the tragedy part here. Maybe you can fill me in here. With that being said though, I like the way you used fantasy as a form of escape for your main character here. It's pretty much like reality where if major shit happens constantly, one will be tempted to create some form of escape via various means including fantasy thinking. And let's not go to suicide shall we. But I do feel that this work could have been improved further via fleshing out what happened in real life that warranted the fantasy escape. If you could include this part, then it will present a bigger impact from the whole story since the fantasy aspect of the plot was due to the family trauma here. Apart from that, nothing to say.
P.S: Return this review via The Eternal Grail. :)
Add P.S: Skip the omake chapter if you're not one for random humour. Be noted that I've included vital info on the Magus there, so you might need to read that up. The rest, well you can skip them if you want to. ;)
| BittersweetHearts08 chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
I love how this is a story about a picture! The picture is still and can only say so many things to certain people. You, however, bring out the thoughts and movements of the woman. You make a completely frozen picture into a masterpiece of movement and feeling. I really enjoyed reading it. The only criticism I have would be comma placing. It's not bad, you just need a few in certain places. Great job! :)
| driftveilings chapter 1 . 1/9/2010
Beautiful piece _ Nice description.
And all those pictures are gorgeous indeed.
| LadyLuck123 chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
Really good writing. Your descriptions are excellent, and just right. Some writers tend to provide too many cliched descriptions, but your ones were quite original. I thought that the place was real, and I loved how you put that twist at the end. One thing though - you mentioned 'blood'. Is she dying or hurt? That was a bit unclear, but maybe you intended that and wanted the reader to draw their own conclusions? Overall, good job!
| xXhootsXx chapter 1 . 1/1/2010
I know people have said this, but I love the descriptions. So mysterious! VERY GOOD!
**skips off to read Bloodtypes**
| Experiment101 chapter 1 . 12/30/2009
I really enjoyed the imagery in this, short but sweet.
| zombie chickens chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
Good imagery, both of the dream and the nightmare. I love short stories and I've never been able to write a good one so I commend just about anyone who can. A very interesting concept.
| Diversity Calls chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
As a few have already said, your descriptions are fantastic. You're able to pull the reader into the story taking them along with the girl. Great work! This isn't really a story, as far as I can tell, so there's not much to work with when critiquing. The only thing that I can think of, though I think it's been mentioned, is that you use 'she' a lot. Perhaps to much. But I don't know, if you had used 'the lady' or 'the young woman', it might have interrupted the flow of the story.
| Charel Lebl chapter 1 . 12/24/2009
This is so sweet! I love your descriptions and how you portray everything! Just reading it makes you happier, more content, and peaceful. Very nice piece of work. Is it something you're going to add to or is it finished? You should do more of these kinds of things. Very captivating!
| jsnuaieifhew chapter 1 . 12/24/2009
Wow. I love the peaceful feeling that the first part has. In fact, I like the whole thing. There was only really one thing I picked up on - A lot of sentences start with 'she', especially near the end, and this makes it a bt repetetive. Apart from that, love it!
| RetardedChicken chapter 1 . 12/24/2009
You're a brilliant writer. You described everything very well. You're story is just great so I have no critisism for you. Anyways Merry Xmas :D
| Luna Addictus chapter 1 . 12/23/2009
Dreams are our little scapegoats from reality, and this story gives an apparent approval for it. Although I do not know what the girl's name is, I do hope she's not yet dead.
| ainedamdz chapter 1 . 12/23/2009
I tried to check out that link you posted as the basis for this piece, but it seemed broken.
Anyway. This story was beautifully written, and you captured the dreamlike quality perfectly. Although I have no idea who the lady/girl in the story is, it didn't impede my reading experience. The flow went on smoothly.
Is this a one-shot? If it is, then it could stand on its own. If it's not, then a few more chapters wouldn't be so bad.
Keep up the good work!~
| antiwritesthings chapter 1 . 12/23/2009
that was awesome. i love the way your details just bring it to life. that rockked! lol
definitely 1 of my favorites