Reviews for Thirteen Pounds & Ashlea
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 3/1/2010
I love the sensory details in the third stanza (especially second line.) Vivid imagery as always.
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 1/22/2010
"apposing yesteryears" is an excellent concept.

The second stanza is my favourite for its brilliance.

I like the character sketch created here,

and the juxtaposition of gain and loss finishes strongly.
Isca chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
"Shedding seashell skins." A tongue-twister. I like your use of the word "shedding" here - it definitely constitutes a kind of oceanic-child "transformation."

"Seemingly shelved." I absolutely adore this description of "our former selves."

"The apple-coloured twilight." GLORIOUS. Sensual too. :)
Mirabella chapter 1 . 12/30/2009
"Thirteen hours farther in shedding seashell skins;" - amazing line. :) It drew me in.
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 12/26/2009
I'm not sure I entirely get the Ashlea part but the thirteen hours concept is very near and dear to my heart. It's one of the most unanswered questions in the universe, I think, something between science and philosophy that neither really wants to touch with a forty-foot pole. Are we the same person from hour to hour or are we two entirely separate entities and, in a way, do we die every second of our superficial life? Is life, as we know it, just a cheat?

The imagery is very to the point. The metaphor of moving through the rain struck a chord with me. You show humanity as a million blind beings blindly meandering between the corpses and ghosts of what they used to be, trying to go on, progress, develop but always dying, always living a sort of universal lie.
happenstance chapter 1 . 12/25/2009
I got a clear since of water in this poem, from the seashell imagery, to the rain, I just got a strong since of water.