|Reviews for The Watcher of Winter|
| StoryMonster chapter 1 . 2/12/2011
I didn't really like this - sorry to begin with a not-so-positive sentence, but anyway - as much as your other stuff.
Phrases kept repeating and though it may have been to show emphasis it somehow didn't really fit.
Not your best, but it wasn't bad either. The concept of the poem is interesting.
Well, sorry if I sounded a bit rude. But keep writing!
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 10/3/2010
Great focus and hone in of image here. The entire thing is quite simple, and I'm not sure what to thing entirely of what the meaning of the watcher of winter is-a man who watches those who die, a doctor of sorts? or is it just meant to be more fantastical again, like a literal man who watches the winter? Genre placement again, could help me out here, and I noticed you didn't put it anywhere but "poetry". I think poets need a place, if I pick up a poetry book I usually know what genre I'm reading, and usually poems in poetry books have a similar theme, but since this is FP and not a poetry book, you're allowed to have poetry that contrasts a lot with other poems, like this "Watcher of Winter" and the last poem "Pulse"-they're extremely different. Don't be afraid to help the reader out a bit with interpretation and message, as that's what we mean to sit down and take away when it's all said and done.
I liked the use of alliteration with "watcher of winter", it has a wonderful ring to it and you surely didn't forget that by using it in every stanza. I feel that the second stanza is the one that doesn't fit the most, just because of the last line "isn't home". Otherwise there's this sense of action, every last line is something that the watcher literally does, an action that he is staring, "folds", "starts", "curls", "climbs", "walks"-so what am I supposed to do with "isn't"? It just doesn't fit and it throws the unity of the poem off. Normally with something like "Pulse" this wouldn't phase me as much, but this poem is very uniform and it needs to be unified too, so there needs to be an adjustment there, I feel.
I like the setting focus, it reminds me a lot of "Stopping by the woods" just for that winter image, but it doesn't have the same sense of forlorn feelings that the former does. Still, there's always something a little sad about winter. The attention to the "pines" and an ultimate sense of loneliness definitley allows me to sit back and see an influence from "Stopping", or at least I hope so! I like how you spent time to dress up the character as well, literally, you gave us a place where he sleeps, a picture of his black boots, and this image of him climbing alone, etc. that really tied him together and made him a bit more dimensional.
Overall I liked to see the branch out of your poetry and the way you can attempt a different formal and informal tone and format. You should try your hand at tetremeter poetry, I think this sort of subject would fit with it well.
| bluewitness chapter 1 . 1/2/2010
I get the feeling that some god between heaven and hell runs through the mysteries of winter, always watching; cold, yet magestic and serene.
| Negasi chapter 1 . 12/30/2009
This story has given me the weirdest image. It is like there is a man walking and watching the winter. Yet a god or some creature follows him, watching the winter watcher. It's a double watch so to speak.
Anything is good, I like some of my newer songs and so those would be cool, but anything newer for sure. The songs are my biggies though :P
| Lawrence Wyman chapter 1 . 12/27/2009
great poem. Keep up the good work!
| Princess-anna57 chapter 1 . 12/26/2009
Good poem here. :) Keep it up, kk?