Reviews for Wish Star
Around.the.Rainbow chapter 11 . 12/29/2010
This is unexpected, but a good unexpected. I don't know if I'd trust Seiza though, especially to go back to Yoru Oukoku. This was another good chapter. I'm curious about Seiza's story, and his side of things. I hope to learn more about that.

~Blood of the Innocent
Around.the.Rainbow chapter 10 . 12/29/2010
Yeah, what did Seiza have to do with Fujiwara? I guess Sora isn't there with him, where's she? Unless she's there and we don't know yet. Anway, great chapter. I knew Fujiwara was a jerk talking about a marriage with her with his parents. Did Hoshi shoot out Anriki at Fujiwara? What's going to happen to him now?

~Blood of the Innocent
Around.the.Rainbow chapter 9 . 12/29/2010
Sora's quite blunt, and mean. I love when she says "oh we're going to kill her". I also can't help but wonder if Negai is love sick or he just happened to get sick sick. And Seiza seems to know Fujiwara which seems bad. This was a good chapter and I can't wait to see what happens to all of them.

~Blood of the Innocent
Eiya Weathes chapter 6 . 12/22/2010
Another well-written chapter. I'm liking how this is going.

The characters are developing. You really are shaping them up and each of them definitely stand out.

Everything seems fine to me. The descriptions, the pacing, the dialogue. It's all great and the story's just getting interesting!

- Amethyst Penn

~ This review is sponsored by the Gossip Forum.
Eiya Weathes chapter 5 . 12/22/2010
Okay I like this. It's a good filler chapter.

I like how you tied the background to the characters. It really helps with the connection.

Again, another great chapter!

- Amethyst Penn

~ This review is sponsored by the Gossip Forum.
Eiya Weathes chapter 4 . 12/22/2010
Okay, again. The P.O.V change did not ruin the story's pacing. In fact, it helped with the flow.

I like how you really make the characters stand out and how you differentiate them to one another. It really makes them unique, you know. I'm probably not making any sense.

The pacing is still good. It didn't seem rushed to me. I know this is a manga fiction but I would like to see a bit more realism.

- Amethyst Penn

~ This review is sponsored by the Gossip Forum.
Eiya Weathes chapter 3 . 12/22/2010
Okay I haven't finished this entire story yet so I can't review the sequels.

I have nothing constructive to say here. The dialogue is fine and I love your pacing. It suits the story.

The P.O.V switch was pretty cool and I found it refreshing. And although the P.O.V was someone else' didn't ruin the flow.
Around.the.Rainbow chapter 8 . 12/14/2010
There's still something about Fujiwara that I don't trust. That one little thing he wants is probably not really a "little thing" it's probably horrible! I feel bad for Negai and how hurt he is now, but I also feel bad for Megumi with Negai seeming like he likes Hoshi more then his girlfriend. This is getting real good. Can't wait to read more.
Around.the.Rainbow chapter 7 . 12/14/2010
Fujiwara seems...sketchy...I don't trust him at all. I have this feeling that he's going to tell the enemy where Hoshi is. But really...what does Negai know about Fujiwara that makes him bad? Other then that he is a player. Even though this is kind of a confusing chapter it was very good. Can't wait to read more!

~Blood of the Innocent
Eiya Weathes chapter 2 . 12/12/2010
["Hoshi, I don't know how else to put it."

"You're useless," I guessed silently, tears threatening to escape me. I attempted to restrain a sob and failed miserably. Now the tears were clinging onto my eyelashes.

"You're useless. I really don't know how else to say it."

You probably do, I thought sadly.

It wasn't my first time hearing it, and it probably wouldn't be the last. My father, Yozora Taiyou, the proud king of Yoru Oukoku, had frequently repeated that same statement to me as soon as I could understand speech.]

- Wow. It's an interesting beginning and I like that you started off with her family background. It's a great way to introduce a character.

["If you're not worthy to be my heir, I must banish you from the kingdom."

"I know, Father." I'd always thought that was a little harsh, considering we were the royal family, but maybe it was just because I was different to the rest of them. I was nineteen years old, the eldest, but I was much weaker than both of my younger siblings. I couldn't master Anriki, the dark power passed down within my clan. Seiza, my sixteen-year-old brother, had picked it up quite easily and mastered it at the age of eleven.

"You're dismissed."]

- Wow. Harsh.

[That night I had the strangest dream. It was definitely a dream, because none of it would ever have actually happened.

My family and I had to pick sides. I couldn't remember why we had to, but as usual, I was on my own. Everyone else just stared at me. And then for some reason, Seiza came over to my side. Now it was just the two of us against everyone else, and I knew as much about Seiza as I did about controlling Anriki. Not too great support.

It was a very strange dream, but it wasn't as if it would come true. I would be different on my own. That was how it was meant to be.]

- Interesting. What could it mean?

Okay I like this. It has a great flow. Good dialogue. Fascinating characters that are pretty much realistic.

I will continue reviewing this weekend.
Eiya Weathes chapter 1 . 12/12/2010
Okay, great beginning. It has this amazing hook that pulls you in.

[So why was this stranger, claiming to be her younger brother, warning us that she was a weapon of mass destruction?]

- That line right there is a great hook and I want to read more of what would happen.

As far as I can tell, there are no grammatical errors.

I'm not good with reviewing prologues so I'm sorry for not finding anything constructive.
ImmortalDreams chapter 2 . 12/11/2010
I like your character development with Hoshi and her family. You really get the mood from the kind of place they live in and how Hoshi is in contrast to it.

The writing is nice and descriptive although I prefer longer chapters. Great work!
Around.the.Rainbow chapter 6 . 11/16/2010
Uh-oh I sense danger in Negai and Megumi's relationship. I love how you described Sora as a stuck up snob. I couldn't help but laugh while reading her encounter with the twins. She seems very serious but this was a somewhat humorous point of view on things which is always nice. Hehe.
Around.the.Rainbow chapter 5 . 11/16/2010
Abusive much...I'm glad he moved out. It was good that you told us more about Negai's background. It helps us to understand him better. You captured his parents argument when he tried to sneak in very nicely. I could almost feel their anger.
Around.the.Rainbow chapter 4 . 11/10/2010
This was a very good chapter, and I liked the way you ended it. What's up with Seiza. The only thing I'd think you'd need to fix is this: ""Mine wasn't either. I'll tell you about it." He sat down opposite me and sighed."

you'd want to put He sat down opposite of me and sighed.

this was a great chapter and I liked how you added Hoshi's father point of view on things. He really is a cruel man.
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