Reviews for Senior Speech
lookingwest chapter 1 . 3/4/2011
Well! I think the first thing I would say about this speech is: passionate. Haha, our high school never did anything like this and the gravity of the words, especially the quote from Sun Tzu, seemed a bit on the extreme scary side, since it was evoking the topics of war, killing, bloodshed, and the right to end another human being's life. BUT, I mean, I guess I give you kudos for definitely getting that point across. Nothing like instilling unthinking mass hysteria and group mania into a crowd then likening them to troops reading for battle, XD.

What I liked best about it though were the boldness of the words, and I also think it was cool for you to pull in that quote because it added a sense of smarts to the whole thing, I doubt anyone else had that kind of content and I think that reflected you as a writer too. There were some nice bold sentences in the second paragraph about the guns being trained and ready to fire, though again, that's a bit of a heavy analogy. I dunno if it would have in flew if it was at my school, but again, definitely shock factor and definitely hitting the point home.

Ah, sorry this review is lacking. I obviously didn't find any S&G in this-I think it all flowed well as far as oral interpretation and everything was placed well to keep the listener enticed and eager to continue listening. It was cool that way-I imagine this was well received too, and I can just picture cheers at the end, XD. That's cool that you got the opportunity to write/present this in front of the whole school! Stuff like that is always fun!
Connor Mack chapter 1 . 9/7/2010
I certainly heard a general or commander yelling these words to their soldiers while reading. I really liked that, and it sort of makes me wonder what kind of war is going on during this gruesome but inspirational speech.

I liked how you blocked out what kind of rebels they were expecting to fight, leaving it up to the reader to fill in the blanks for themselves. I always enjoy that in a piece, where the reader can fill in some spots for themselves, to make your piece their own in a way.

I didn't see anything wrong with this piece. In fact, it was very well written, and I thank you for the read.
Moon Ribbons chapter 1 . 2/19/2010
This is good, but why so much anger against the opposition?

You know, if the whole team was murdered, I would automatically suspect you.
Negasi chapter 1 . 1/2/2010
That made me want to join your team and do some mangling!
bluewitness chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
Interesting how I found myself fistpumping with a hearty "YEAH!" by the end of this. Completely epic and wonderfully metaphoric. I hope you won :)