|Reviews for Adam and Noah|
| PenguinHearts chapter 12 . 8/13/2012
That... that was... the creepiest thing I ever read... I love it! Great job!
| JHeartbreak chapter 12 . 12/15/2011
I love the beginning of this story. It’s the best beginning to a story I’ve seen in ages. You have a poetic prose style, contemplative and careful. I found it inspiring. Your careful attention to detail, and restrained depiction of psychology really work. I enjoy it a lot. I like the beginning best because it is surreal and uncanny. Two strangers walking silently in a desolate and uninhabited landscape is eerie and compelling. The car ride with the lady and subsequent trek through the forest also has this uncanny feeling.
But this story is in need of some major pruning. The more you try to push this novel towards social realism, the weaker it gets. The flashbacks and emphasis on jobs and things are detriments. Your slow moving style, which works perfectly in the surreal scenes, is stultifying for your social-realist scenes.
If you are hesitant about taking on the big project of editing this novel, let me encourage you. Some novels could use editing, but don’t really need it. This novel would practically become a whole new work with some careful editing. If you cut out most of the flashbacks and carefully worked in the parts you didn’t want to cut; if you made a continuous narrative line of Adam and Noah together instead of taking long breaks where Adam goes into his head; then you would have a story beyond amazing. I’m not kidding you when I tell you just how much potential this story has, in the rough.
I also hope you finish this story.
| Ann Lepson chapter 7 . 7/23/2011
I like this, I really do, but...when has this been humorous? Maybe I have the wrong sense of humor. I do find your notes humorous, though.
But I like it, despite the grammatical mistakes you are so intent on pointing out every chapter, which don't detract from the story.
I also like the random flashbacks, because it's nice to see into Adam's background. :)
In summary: I should be packing, but I'm reading this because I simply must finish it. :)
| Handsome Devil chapter 12 . 5/21/2010
Wow. What an adventurous day.
Well, not really. I don't think that constitutes as adventurous. More like bloody scarring. I wouldn't even know what to do if ANY of that happened to me. My car falling into a ditch and being phoneless, getting picked up by that crazy woman trying to KILL me! Or even having a gash like that up my leg. Especially that dead body. Basically, I would be in shock by the end of that day.
So kudos to Noah and Adam for being so strong.
And btw, I do believe this is a great story and I would LOVE for you to continue. I'm beginning to really love Adam.
And I'm sad that I was right that his parents died. :( It's so sad.
Now, what's next on my list is Noah. Because he is not easy to figure out AT ALL.
| Handsome Devil chapter 3 . 5/21/2010
That's so sad. Did he beat Sandy up or rape her though? Because physical abuse is better than sexual abuse any day. I
Anyway, I really want to find out about Adam's life. I'm so curious because not much has been mentioned. Only that he went fishing with his dad and that he moved houses a lot? I'm going to go out on a limb (lol funny saying) here and guess that his parents died?
I'm also curious about Noah obviously, he's a very interesting character.
| misguided ghosts chapter 3 . 1/5/2010
Oh goodness, poor Adam. He needs a hug, preferably from Noah :D & haha, I was wondering what Noah was doing while Adam went off on his tangent.
I want more :D
| misguided ghosts chapter 2 . 1/1/2010
I'm in love with your writing style. I don't what it is, but I just couldn't stop thinking about Adam and Noah. Speaking of them, those two are major cuties. If I were Adam, I'd be like "of course I'll stay in this random house with you, sexy thing." haha, I'm weird.
| GaIn chapter 1 . 12/27/2009
You've got yourself a really good beginning here. I love the characters so far and I think you left off at a good point.
And congrats on completing NaNoWriMo! :)