|Reviews for stringing my thoughts together|
| she left ringing in his head chapter 1 . 3/12/2010
you have a wonderful way with words
| Anise Cary chapter 1 . 2/13/2010
I like the flow of this poem. I was able to read it through smoothly without being confused.
I love the image of a line of thoughts disappearing into the tree. I can see the narrator standing looking at the tree, just watching.
stringing my thoughts together,
i tug them one by one onto the line;
pull at them and prick them and stab them,
sort them into tight, neat rows. - this gives me the image of stringing thoughts like popcorn, what a unique idea.
| Isca chapter 1 . 12/30/2009
"Stringing my thoughts together." A rhetorician would be proud to see such a line. Weaving is said to be a woman's domain, and yet, you use mythology here, by suggesting that thoughts can be entwined, to remove women from the realm of silence-as-eloquence and empower them (i.e. they become the Fates).
"Prick them and stab them, sort them into tight, neat rows." Excellent. "Prick them and stab them" possesses a violent tone, but the tone of "tight, neat rows" is calm and collected, so that makes me believe that the speaker is at war with her thoughts - she longs for: ordo ab chao (order from chaos).
"Hang them up on the christmas tree." This line caught me off-guard. I love it, though. The idea of placing tendrils of thoughts on a lighted/decorated tree is quite interesting. Perhaps the speaker wishes that her thoughts were juvenile enough to display in front of others.
"My thoughts hide and tremble in the bristly coverage, behind the sparkles and behind the stars, until I can barely see them anymore." 'Bristly coverage' has a nice ring to it. 'Behind the stars' is wonderfully tragic. 'Until I can barely see them' is entirely moving and fascinating.
Keep up the great work, Kate. :)
| wo bu ai ni le chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
This seems to be a nice poem about poetry-writing, I really enjoyed the images; I'm not sure this is what you intended, but one meaning I seem to get is overly adorning your thoughts that the thoughts themselves become obscured.
| deefective chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
I really loved the imagery in this. Absolutely fantastic. It was very clear yet subtle at the same time. There's a soft undertone to this whole piece that I found lovely as well. I liked the fact that you really set a scene for this whole piece because it painted a picture in my mind the whole way through. The descriptions you chose may seem plain if you read each line by itself but altogether it's really poetic. The only thing I have to say is that I don't like the repetition of "on the line" in the 3 stanza. I think it's because everything else in this piece was very original, the repetition of this line disrupted the flow for me. The idea was already very clear in the beginning so I didn't think you needed to repeat it. Other than that, nicely done.
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
this is beautiful! i love it.
i love the idea of stringing thoughts together and hanging them up on a christmas tree. that's so creative and so fresh.
the third stanza is amazing and the last line is so profound.