|Reviews for Sense Experience|
| Sophie Ulquiorra Allen chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
Interesting little short. There was a good transition from the dream world to real. It was sudden, but a bit conventional. It would be better if you described her vanishing dream, whether it goes away slowly or disappears in an instant.
I don't know if you meant most of the second half of the piece to have dialogue. If so, you must make use of quotation marks and proper punctuation. For instance, at the very end you have:
It was Robert, the manager replied.
It should run like this:
"It was Robert," the manager replied.
Hope that helps! It was enjoyable to read. Keep writing. :)
| Paul chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
I hate when people don't
write summaries because it gives off the idea that
if they can't take the time to write one why should I read their story, but overall it was pretty good.
Emotional and a little confusing.
But good, write more.