Reviews for Madrid, 1936
Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 3/9/2010
A haunting image painted from this poem. The last stanza was effective.

One thing I spotted:

{Gods glib brow} God's (?).
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/21/2010
Review Marathon this weekend (link in my profile)

"soft under Gods glib brow -"... God's

I kind of wish you had an a/n here to explain the context. The piece has made me really interested in what you're talking about happened in Madrid in 1936.

I liked the piece, as always. It describes an interesting situation. I also loved your descriptions toward the end of the first stanza.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile.)
Guest chapter 1 . 1/28/2010
Descriptions: The descriptions in the beginning, especially talking about the babies, really showed the problems with what was happening at the time. On the other hand, the lack of descriptions of the last three lines really helped get across the bleakness of the whole thing.

Subject: The subject was rather obvious, but the poem helped get across a new view of it. Because when war is talked about, usually only the soldiers are talked about, this story had a nice spin on it.

Tone: The bleakness of this poem fit with the subject of it. It really got across the idea and helped emphasize the blackness of war.

Form: The way that the lines were split up also helped emphasize it because it joined a kind of disjointed chaos. That helped show the panic of war.
fatbird33 chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
Yay you won the WCC. Congratulations :)

This was a very powerful poem in many ways. Your word choices were splendid "glib brow". It was a short poem, and yet so much emotion was packed into it,which is very good for the reader and the writer. it's powerful when you can pack so much emotion into so little.

Your last stanza was very well done. i like how it was shortened into a few words to contrast with the longer lines of the first stanza.

There were two typos that i saw "Gods glib brow" it should be "God's glib brow"

and i don't know if this was deliberate or not but "and it's a journey none too few of us have taken," i think that there should be a period there instead of a a comma. I personally think that it would flow better that way.

but good job! :)
lookingwest chapter 1 . 1/10/2010
A-mazing. Again, I love your imagery in this work because it's haunting and you really catch the very essence of the moment with a rhythm that I also love because your choice of words just flows in a way that rolls off the tongue, "cleft as any duffle filled with worldly goods"-just saying that is flowing and rhythmic.

The way that you also divide the last three lines into its own stanza was smart as well, and emphasizes to me, the concept of "alone".
oxytocin chapter 1 . 1/7/2010
I love historical poems like this. The alliteration of 'Gods glib' is very original (although 'God's' should have an apostrophe!). The images are very dense. It almost requires a second reading, you get so much more from it. My favourite image is "cleft as any duffle filled with worldly goods" - it is so informative and so poignant. The juxtapostion of the simple, shabby 'duffle' image with the important 'worldly goods' is so striking. Good work.
Ayx chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
The subject matter is so relevant to . I feel

it's the reminder needed for those of us that blindly sit back in the comfort of our 'country' living without the affects of war.

'as daughters of dead mothers they tied kerchiefs around their hair

to keep their girlhoods hidden underneath the guise of their leathery

destinies.' -beautiful

Ayx
Isca chapter 1 . 1/2/2010
"Sore from their northern Gorgon childhoods." Woah. GORGON CHILDHOODS! Where did that little beauty come from? It's brilliant!

"And it's a journey none too few of us have taken." This line is absolutely perfect. The angsty tone. The message. It's phenomenal.

I also really loved the 'kerchief,' 'hollow scalp,' and 'duffle filled' imagery in the middle of the poem - it was all very vivid and raw.

Excellent work. :D
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 1/1/2010
Short piece of trauma condensed into a can of world-weary hardened emotions transferred onto the universal plane into a universal time. Good diction, short, sweet. Me likes it.
xxAshuriixx chapter 1 . 12/31/2009
I like the historical aspect of the poem. I feel as if I can see a street in Madrid during this. I also like the more advanced vocab- it heightens the descriptiveness, in my opinion. Nice job!