Reviews for Heartstream
Arunarsirakul chapter 2 . 8/6/2010
What she is thinking is what people can relate to not directly like losing a husband, but losing someone that you deeply love. You have some spelling mistakes which is perfectly understandable, but you should try to fix it. You should change Jack Daniels to "Jack Daniels" to show that it is a name not of a person, but of a drink. In the fifth paragraph, you do not need to put the comma before "I scream." I scream is needed in the sentence to make sense. On the same sentence, I advise that you put no sounds because in my opinion it doesn't seem right without the word "no." Also, not do drugs. You take drugs. You need to change your "cant" to "can't." Well that is all I have to say other than you have lots imagery use. That is very impressive indeed. 9/10

Arunarsirakul chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
This is a truly inspiring story. Really short and beginning is making me wonder but then I caught on and it makes me think about Prop 8. It is unjust for people to not accept people just because of their sexuality. There are a lot of grammar mistakes so I suggest that I look it over. I didn't expect the mom shooting her husband so suddenly making the story over. I understand that it had to be over when Sean and Luke were gone or something as they were the main characters. However, I just think that it seems too short. I loved how you started a new paragraph at every different person talking. Young writers usually do not do that. This is a story that could be reality and to show how some people are about sexuality but, it is more about love. Love is something that cannot be taken away easily. It cannot be forgotten. In my opinion the story is trying to say that with love, you will be happy for the rest of your life. 8.5/10