Reviews for Fired! |
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Kim chapter 2 . 12/31/2012 This story is great. I love how to you make Death more humors than evil. He's has a dark sense of humor, and it's awesome. |
midniteshade chapter 2 . 3/3/2011 lolz gotta keep writting more! |
sophiesix chapter 2 . 3/21/2010 oh love teh twist. really great characterisation here, built by lovely dialogue and great actions that draw you right in and put you in teh scene, like :" his bony shoulders clacking " I did wonder a bit about her past, what the two times were referring to: marriages? miscarriages? but other than that it flowed wondefully. :) |
improvisationallychallenged chapter 2 . 3/21/2010 From the RG: Okay, first: !... *clears-throat* I mean - I liked this story very much. :P Right, onto the official stuff. Your Death is awesome. Kind of like a blend between the Death of Family Guy and the Death of Discworld. It was nice to see an element of life so regularly personified in fiction take on a very human, engaging persona, with just the hints of that cold unyielding quality beneath ("I'm Death," he said. "I'm Pain. I'm Sorrow. I'm Regret. I am what you feel." - that line totally had a shiver going down my spine :D) And that twist at the end - stomach lurchingly good. It delivered a real boot to the gut surprise, and made me want to give Mrs. McGrady a hug. Now she's lost everything :( Your characterisation really was top-notch, and the dialogue was realistic, and managed to be convincingly conversational without being dull. I'd definitely like to read more about this world... :) |
Devil's Playground chapter 1 . 2/27/2010 This is such an epic idea, putting together linked short stories - very original and very creative! As for this story itself, it was completely amazing. I adore your writing style and sense of humor, and this story was full to the brim with both of those. Ahh, how I love black humor. Not only that, but it wasn't sheer humor; it was certainly funny as hell, but there were also some touching/emotional moments that make it a really great story. The characterization was awesome; you managed to create well developed characters out of Death and the angel within a very short amount of time. The angel was adorable and very endearing, though obviously also quite an airhead. And Death. Oh, Death. XD Your portrayal of him was just excellent. He started off just how I would expect Death to be, but there were definitely some highly unique bits. I loved that he showed some glimmers of compassion for the angel - but without going out of character at all. I think some writers would make him crumble into a sappy mess and realize the error of his ways or something, and I am so, so glad that you kept him consistently badass. At the end I was like "YEAH, YOU GO, DEATH!" even though I also feel bad for the angel. The ending was perfect, as well. Amusing, and sufficiently open-ended, and yeah. Like I said, perfect. Caught one typo - " "Maybe…he was suppose to die?" " Should be supposed. Basically, the pacing was good, the descriptions were spot-on - just enough, without being too much or too little, and overall, this was just epic win. 'Nuff said. I love your writing. |
Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 2/26/2010 I really liked this - the characters of Death and the angel were perfect. I like how Death was quite calm and 'cool' while the angel was panicing about the boy. Great last line, and I liked the humour used here too. |
K.M.Simpson chapter 2 . 2/3/2010 Wow! brillAINT. the last line was just like I want more I want more. You could deffinetly write more to this because its just one those stories you can get more on. Loved it though and was pleased with reading it. |
zombie chickens chapter 1 . 1/31/2010 I have to say, I LOVE the thought of a collection of one shots with reoccuring characters in it. It is absolutely briliant, especially the way you did this first chapter. The whole angel talking to death while this tragic scene is going on in the background is very effective. I enjoyed the homor and the message very much. Thank you for writing something so good. Seriously, I was bored and really hoping for something like this. You're awesome. |
dragonlore04 chapter 2 . 1/29/2010 WOW!I was so not expecting the end! Mrs. McGrady sounds like how I would be. I like how you made her a believable character. I esp. like how you had Death describe himself: “I’m Pain. I’m Sorrow. I’m Regret. I am what you feel.“ I can't wait until the next. |
YasuRan chapter 2 . 1/27/2010 Nice twist! Although, as a professed cat-lover, I do feel for Stubborns. Oh well, at least his last moments weren't... painful? |
taerkitty chapter 2 . 1/27/2010 Nice opening. I'd suggest something other than kick - it's too active a motion for someone who was just shuffling the previous sentence. "Frizzy rain cloud gray hair" needs a bit of framework or something. "Ran a hand through that grey cloud of frizzy hair," perhaps. I was expecting a joke about him reading the obituaries, but that's my sense of humour. "What's done is done." Good paragraph, but ... it runs a bit long. Here's the deal: That paragraph starts with an action sentence. Then dialog, which avoids the accursed 'said' dialogue tag. Then action sentence. Then dialogue. Then action. See? I think it's good to have at most three 'sections' in a paragraph with dialogue intermixed with action. "Third time's the charm" doesn't work for me. She had Humphrey, but he left the picture. That's one. What's the second time, much less the third? I don't count a cat as the second time - he's still here, for now. "I can't feel what you feel." ... "You can't feel what I felt." This feels like it is padding - I don't feel that there's anything new that comes from this part of the exchange. A ghost kitten from an old and fat cat. Hm... that is an interesting image. I would have expected a mature cat, perhaps free of corporeal carriage, but not a babe. Ending is a bit off. He's walking away from the body of the cat, which is by the stove. She's staring at him, and sees him talk to her over his shoulder, so she's following him as he ways away. But then the ending says she's left staring at Stubborns' remains. Nice story. I like the possible tie-in with Chapter 1, with him looking for a job "for a friend." Overall, it feels a little flabby just before the ending, but the voice is consistent and the characterization strong. No presentation errors, but that's what I've come to expect from this source. Very nicely done. |
dragonlore04 chapter 1 . 1/20/2010 I think this is a really cool consept. I like how you portrayed the Death character. |
Alias Blue chapter 1 . 1/17/2010 Oh this is fantastic. I can tell you like Terry Pratchett. I love death with the cigarette! :D This was a well written one-shot, not too long and not too short, and it flowed great. So easy to read, and no sentences tripped me up. The dialogue was hilarious, and Death and the Angel were described just enough to get a good visual, maybe too brief, but maybe that was just because they're sort of iconic figures anyway? - it didn't need too much description. All in all, that was a great little read. I favourited. (Btw - not to be too smarmy, but I'm from gossip forum. Hint hint, review would be appreciated, but I don't really mind. I enjoyed reading your story enough for you not to feel obligated - but you know, it'd be nice. XD) |
YasuRan chapter 1 . 1/15/2010 Wow. An excellent characterization of Death, I must say. The guy had some killer (pun intended) lines ('dead as disco'). Really, quite a fascinating character :) |
Sputnik chapter 1 . 1/15/2010 I thought this was pretty good. The whole tone of the peice is a little uneven, its not consistently dark or funny enough to be a dark comedy or even one or the other. Still, it had some good lines, and I like the image of a chain smoking Death and a useless angel. It'd been funnier if we found what the angel was looking at in the bookshop, but I see you were pressed for space. Sputnik |