Reviews for Long Sleeves
thewhimsicalbard chapter 1 . 1/14/2010
This is a pretty darn good poem! It didn't have any of the sing-song quality I've seen in your poetry before, which was a welcome improvement.

I liked the message too. You have no idea how much this is me in a nutshell.

Now, I do have to critique something. That something is your rhythm. The lines don't flow together very well. I think you should go back and work on lines and paragraphing and punctuating (and possibly even use/lack-of-use of the following: the/this/that/a/an/etc). When you read it, it should be flowing. Flow is the Man.

Good piece of work here. It isn't quite up to my standards to give it a favorite, but it's really close!