I am in love with your story

this book is amazing It actually made me make an account up just so I could review it...the only thing is next time take your time typing it up ) some of the errors threw me off. But the details and everything wuz just awedome. Forgive me for some of my errors I had 2 use my cell phone2write this review

Man, that's odd, why did you name the chapter "Man" ?

"idiot" poor guy that's harsh. Oh well, also "you grandma yells at me for entering her house" something like that... She needs to calm down, lol.

Huh, what's up with the Texas accentthing? And you didn't specify which Washington. Cos I didn't here a difference when I went to dc a few years back, but I guess it's still considered the south( lol, I am a Texan). At least she isn't from Louisiana, ugh, now they sounds ignorant. Oh in the second paragraph at the end where it says "I seen I thought" idk, something is wrong there. Try reading it outloud. There was something else too but I can't remember... Oh yes, I remember now "her in Washington..." just thought I would point those out for ye.

Short, I like your writing style but I like anything that isn't present tense. I HATE present tense. I get confused because I'm not used to it. It distracts me lol. I will read more. Not right now though, I have school, three tests today, yay tests...

That was a great chappie!

I knew something like that was going to happen! Poor Yami xD

BMVlover1

Didn't see that coming. Great story so far.

BMVlover1

That was interesting.

BMVlover1

I can see it beginning to get exciting. Can't wait to read more.

BMVlover1

That was a bit surprising.

BMVlover1

Haha. That was funny.

BMVlover1

It's not bad. Though, I have noticed a few punctuation errors, but those will get better with time.

BMVlover1

It's not very boring, actually. The introduction of the character kind of makes me want to read more.

BMVlover1