Reviews for The Bloody 9
OhneSie chapter 1 . 4/19/2011
You have an interesting story here and for the most part, your spelling and grammar are good. I think that if you wanted to, you could make this into something longer. Good job, either way.
Ciaran Mordecai chapter 1 . 10/31/2010
Epic Werecat purely epic XD I hope you write more to it it would be amazin :)
Knight Angel chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
Dazed Daisies chapter 1 . 1/29/2010
I love your style of writing! :) The only thing was starting it with, "it was a dark and stormy night." It just seems... I don't know, I guess a little over-used if you know what I mean. But other than that.. I
The Epic BunnyPrincess Of Doom chapter 1 . 1/14/2010
This is really good. I love it. :D And let me tell you, it was VERY well written and amazing. You did great!


(Lolz.. Long name.. might have to shorten it.. :D)
KimonoQueen chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
I agree with what Mizzuz Spock said. Not looking underground but eating through the Earth's crust? And that didn't cause destruction of the Earth, HOW?

Anyway, I'd love it if you would take this further (although that's a lot of work!). This would be a perfect prologue!

Regardless, I enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing!
sw13 chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
Not bad at all. Good read. I think you could have maybe added a little more detail, but it was good. Maybe a sequel?
Mizzuz Spock chapter 1 . 1/12/2010
Overall, this wasn't bad. It had an interesting premise. I'm not entirely sure how the girl and her parents survived. You said that the Bloody Nines didn't think to look underground...but they chewed through the crust to the magma, so...yeah. I was a bit skeptical there.

But. I really liked the image in the end with the tree. That was really creepy. I could just picture it, too. And those leaves all hanging down in the shape of those things... Very awesome picture. You described it very well.

Here are a couple grammar errors I caught:

[...who lived in the city who’s outskirts The Lab lay upon.]

"Who's" should be "whose."

[9 Bodies rose from the tables...] Since "9" is starting the sentence, it should be written out: "Nine." Actually, since 9 is a number below ten, it should be written out...

That's the general rule, anyway. If a number is below ten, write it out. Ten or above, feel free to write the number, except if it's in dialogue, then you have to spell it out. Ah, grammar. It's a confusing, yet beautiful thing, no? xD

[She heard the screams of the dieing and whimpered in fear...] "Dieing" should be "dying."

I liked this story. Are you planning on taking this farther? Or is this just a simple story that ends here. I think it would be interesting to see what happens when those things return, and how the girl that remained maybe helps the boy into surviving? I don't know. I think, if you take this further, than it could be a lot of creepy fun. :]
Luna Libra chapter 1 . 1/12/2010
Oh…creepy. I'm sorry, but it's not that scary. But it is creepy, which is good! Did you really tell this to your niece and nephew? And, you have a niece and nephew? COL! I want some! Or do I… I really dont know. But I really enjoyed this!
ShortInsanity chapter 1 . 1/12/2010
Wow, that's a creepy story. It's very good though, you definatley set the right mood the whole time. Glad you'll be there to help at least.