With all the high tech stuff we got rather low tech here with knights and what not.

Well, Greg seems over his head, hopefully he can learn fast before he gets sliced to pieces.

Two months in and still alive, and not transformed into some mutant monstrously...guess these hosts are legit. Still, sucks that they are also all on board with treating woman like second class life forms...

Still, DOES seem like something's being hidden, hopefully not something with a lot of acid producing teeth.

Looks like the Facade is about to crack so the " Tourists" better figure out how to do the right spin before they don't wind up being throw into...I don't know, the Sarlacc pit or something.

This is a nice setting for the story and we get a good idea of the personality of the two characters, Greg and Kyle and also some of their physical differences between them. I feel like we have someone who is more of the brain and the other of the brawl.
As for what was going on on the planet, it is a nice mystery that picked my curiosity.

I really like the last sentence of this chapter. It is a little funny when the situation they went through. I feel like it's not the time they almost died that way.

Well, always helpful to meet a healer after a crash, long as the cost is not to steep.

Well, these native Keldosa seem ok, need a chapter or so to make sure they don't have demon mouths in the back of there necks. We will see.

Hey there GraziaArmonico not sure if your still around but Crash looks interesting so figured I'd give it a whirl.

Greg sounds like he has a tad bit of self loathing, though with how stressful things seem to be at the moment guess he would be more crazy to be happy with the circumstances.

We got Hyperspace, Planet X, and some lore related to Japanese gods, don't know to much but seems like this can be a fun ride. Well, they say any crash you can walk away form is a good time but we will see just what are pilots are walking into.

Hello from the Zero Hour!

The only thing that seems off is that we don't have a clear description of the main. As for everything else, it's all great! I love the details and the small things you added here and there. The title of the story is also really cool. :D The sci-fi bit of this is nicely done as well, like the description of the hyperspace thing was perfect and nice. Nothing bad to say here, awesome job!

x mandy

Well well just awesome, encridible chapter. The action speed has heated up to action on deck. A well written story that will cause readers to think.

This chapter has a clifhanger ending that make you want to read chapter 6 "The Duel" should be its name. Now this chapter is just awesome the boys just keep gitting in to truble no matter how hard they try to be good.

I'm alive!

I think pacing and description is one of your greatest quality. I was memorized by the vivid details you added into the story. I read it slowly to make sure I didn't miss anything, and I love how a story draws me in effortlessly :). Nothing felt like it dragged on- i thought it flowed very nicely. I even liked the calmness before the storm (is that how the saying goes?) beginning with the church and then suddenly ending with a near miss and a hanging!

Also, your character's voice is also very strong, his emotions and thought process was consistent from the beginning of the chapter to now. I also liked how they had their futuristic weapons with them. It doesn't seem science fiction to me anymore (with the exemption of the beginning, and the fact that the natives seem like from the "old days"), but reminding the readers that they had this technology just reminded me that it is, somewhat science fiction :).

And what you said in the forum- I thought you did a fantastic job on this. I know how tedious writing can get, but I think your efforts truly paid off- this chapter is just amazing :). Overall, I enjoyed it!

Now, for the things you can tweak:

-I approved of the interior decorator, whoever that may have been, and I drank in the antiquated, but oddly pleasant nuances of this place.- instead of "drank in," you could simply say "absorbed." The "drank in" part confused me a bit, and I had to reread it a few times to figure out what you meant (either that or I could be just really slow today... and I apologize for that XD)

-I noticed the large, elaborate borders, sweeping archetecture [spell check: architecture] and high ceilings that tended to impress a person with awe and a sense of their own smallness.- I really loved the description here, but I think you could use a different word that "smallness." Everything flowed nicely (for me at least) till it went at the end. I know smallness is a word, but I thought you could have chosen a better one?

...removed to the back of the room- maybe just say moved instead of removed.

To be honest, I kind of laughed when you said the knight-like guards where present in the church with the priest. I don't know why that image made me laugh- maybe because it seemed out of place XD. But, as you emphasized, they are protecting him so I understand.

"What can I do for you, Gerald?" he asked in a cracking old voice. - I think this should be its own paragraph, away from the vivid details you said before it. Because if you place it in the same paragraphs, his words get lost. (just a thought)

"They are demons in the form of men." He turned again to glare at us. "Hang them."-LOL! XD! I wasn't expecting that... its hilarious XD.

-After a moment of silence as perfect as that of a graveyard, he declared that we had proved that there was no evil in us and that we should be allowed to go our way peacefully.- I thought that happened way too fast/ abruptly. No questions asked? They just accepted it? I thought they could have been interrogated, or the priest would question his own wisdom, etc. Maybe I'm just asking for too much XD.

Beautiful ending to the chapter, which leaves the readers begging for more. I know whose going to win the duel... Greg can't lose... he's Greg for cryin out loud XD

Love ya, happy writings!, And thanks for updating! (you better update soon :)

-Agent

well well awesome work . This story rocks to those readers that stumble on to it read it, it's well worth your time. Thank you for writting it for this site.

lol well I'm replying with a review because I want it to be clear that this world is terraformed... I do not say so, because it would be out of character for Kyle, who is so used to this, to comment on it, but it does seem earth-like because it is earth-like. The horses are uncommon on other planets because other planets don't need horses, but these are not native creatures... they did originally come from earth. This will become a little clearer later on. I will not focus on it but you will understand how it could be possible. The people, too, are human... sort of... and here I'm giving you a spoiler lol

Keep in mind that Gerald is still under the impression that these people are supernatural... he does not understand the concept that they are just normal people exploring the stars, and he expects that they know everything he knows and more... and he's too humble to outright silence them. And if that aspect of his character isn't revealed enough here, it will be later.

Fixing the other problems as we speak ;)

It's Review O'Clock The Zero Hour!

Overall, I thought it was nicely written. It was not as extremely detailed as previous chapters, but you did describe enough of the "palace" or "city" to give me a brief picture of the environment (you know how I love those details- I gobble them up for breakfast :D). I also liked how you described the main character's home and compared it to the world he walked upon now. It makes me wonder why he left his homeworld, Keldosa, when he considered the place to be "paradise," but I'm pretty sure you will give that information later on. I also liked how you presented the information about the city - the transition was very well-done. As the characters entered the city, I imagined the stones under their feet, the pattering steps of the horse, and all that jazz. It was well detailed in my point of view :).

I'm still confused about the world though- it sounds so much like earth, but then again I am not sure. I would have thought the animals would look different- a horse is not a horse or something like that. Maybe I was expecting things a little different, but I think what I lack is the reference is all. Then again, it might just be me.

Haha, and I kinda already predicted that Greg would do something like that haha. I loved how you described the small quarrel, but I would have loved if you added the reaction of the peasants/ low city dweller's reaction to the mix (since you said no on really stood up to them). I'm sure Greg would be praised for his actions, or that it would have caught the attention of many people and give support or something like that. I was a little surprised that Gerald didn't try to stop Greg. He just sat silently as things moved on. I thought that, he knew they were from a different world, he would describe the situation a little more clearly. I'm sure he did that in the beginning (since you talked about the "lord/ governor" thing) but yeah, I would have thought he'd put more resistance. And I'm pretty sure that even though Greg doesn't know how to fence, he would TOTALLY kick that guy's zz XD.

Great addition my friend! I can't wait to read more. I wonder how the fight will go haha. And now, for things you can tweak:

-I could lick you with one hand tied behind my back."- Um, do you mean 'kick'? When Greg said that I was like "0_0" XD!

-I unconsciously wrapped my fingers around the reins a little tigher" - I believe you meant "tighter"

Overall, awesome job!

Great story, 5/5, I can't wait for the next chapter.

How do you enforce that, copyright can be breached by anyone on the internet.

I love the detail you put into your writing, and the personality behind the characters. You really get the sense of chemistry between them of two old friends and co workers who have been through a lot together and still trust each other enough to go somewhere else. I'm defiantely intrigued to see where this will go and didn't catch any grammar or spelling errors so far.

Keep it up :)