Reviews for CoRe |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow, I guess I was right about William just being immune to the robots somehow. :) I wonder how or why exactly they seem to not mind him... Anyway, I like that I know for sure now that Dr. Henderson is just lying to William, about Chris, definitely, and possibly about pretty much everything else, because now I can stop wondering about it. I hope William checks out the closet-place on the 5th floor that Gracie gave him the key to... I'm kinda wondering why he hasn't gone there yet. I know I would've, as soon as possible, too! I like that they managed to get away from the security robots with only like a second to spare, because it was very exciting and dramatic. I'm glad they weren't caught, who knows what kind of things would've happened to them if they were? [Ps. Review Marathon! Link in my profile.] |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow, this is getting really weird now. :/ I like that Dr. Henderson basically tried to make William feel insane by convincing him that he imagined everything, because it's kinda creepy. And also because it makes everything more confusing. Like, is Dr. Henderson lying, or did William actually imagine it all, or something else? Who knows? :/ I like the way the security robots always don't mind when William's walking around, because I think it's kinda funny. Like, what's the point of having security robots in the first place, if not to prevent patients from escaping? Unless William's just different or special in some way, so they're alright with him but not others? [Ps. Review Marathon! Link in my profile.] |
![]() ![]() ![]() Again, this is extremely interesting! I like the way it ends with a kind-of cliffhanger, because it just makes me even more curious as to what's in the place he's going to! I also love how he was able to open the door using a flashlight and a piece of a mirror, because that's just so clever and ingenious. :) I thought the random hateful scientist was a bit weird, and I wonder what he'd meant... :/ [Ps. Review Marathon! Link in my profile.] |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like how mysterious and interesting this is getting! I like that Gracie gave him a key with a mysterious note, because now I'm extremely curious and can't wait to find out what it is that's in the place! I'm assuming it's something good, since Gracie seems very nice so far. :) I like the way there's lots of weird machines around the place, like a security robot, because it makes it seem more high-tech and all that. :P I'm kinda wondering now why the guy was pointing a gun at William, like why he'd need to. I guess other people have been "unstable" before, and maybe tried to kill people or something? I'm just speculating. :P [Ps. Review Marathon! Link in my profile.] |
![]() ![]() ![]() This seems really interesting! :) I like William, because he seems so cute and innocent. :P I didn't particularly like the way you used ". . ." so often, it seems like you used it at least once in every line of dialogue, and it just makes the story seem bit weirder to read. Anyway, I'm very interested to know what kind of stuff Dr. Henderson was talking about, and what he's gonna do. :) I like the way Dr. Henderson and the other guy were stupid enough to have their strange conversation right outside the door of the person it was about. :P [Ps. Review Marathon! Link in my profile.] |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yippide this is awesoome! More, yeah? |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is really good...spooky too. Can't wait to read more :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I am loving this story so far! There was great descriptions and dialogue. My favorite part was when Will was unlocking his door in the last chapter. It was so detailed. I need to know what happens next! Chris couln't have been a hallucination, so I really really hope he shows up again! Love it! Update soon...like really really soon! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Ok I only read the first chapter and I am already interested! This was a great start! I like William so far. You were really good at giving the reader a sense that he's like a small child. I'm not liking Darrel, but he's a good bad guy if that makes any sense. Keep it up! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi! I'm A-S-Cain! Pleased to meet you! 0.~ It took me a few hours of sifting through junk to finally read something good today, so I'll start off by saying thank you very much! When I feel disappointed that I've reached the end of a piece of writing, I can safely say I like it, and that's the case with this little story you've got here! Anyway, as to the review... I like the premise, really. It's probably been done before and blah, blah, blah, but I've never read anything like it myself, so I feel confident in saying that you've taken this somewhere new and fresh. Perhaps it's your writing style or your characters or some such thing, but whatever it is, it's working, so keep it up. On another note, I have to disagree with a previous reviewer when he/she claimed your prose was repetitive. I didn't find really anything within the context of the story repetitive, which is essentially what matters to me as a reader. Concerning other books or stories, I couldn't care less when I'm reading something different. I also don't think it was right of him/her to classify a character appearance as "emo," since there are millions of dark-headed and pale individuals who are certainly not "emotional." But that's just my opinion. Overall, you've got a good pace going here, and there's a subtle but detectable element of suspense that makes the reader want to know more. When I'm reading another's work, I find that if I cannot find interest with the characters, I cannot enjoy what I'm reading no matter how well it's written. Your protagonist, however, I can easily relate to and sympathize with, making reading this all the more enjoyable. Ack! This review is sort of long, so I'm sorry about that! The only other thing I can really comment on at this point is that you have just a few grammar mistakes that are too small for me to remember to point out (though an example I did remember is your mixing up "your" and "you're" occasionally). There's nothing major, though, and your prose is very nicely written. I'm a little sad to see that this piece hasn't been updated in a while, and I hope you haven't given up on it! Even if you don't get many reviews, please know that you have now won me over as a reader, and I will continue to look over your work! Wishing you the very best, and here's hoping for another update some time soon! Much love! |
![]() ![]() ![]() it seems a bit repetitive at times... "He had medium length, straight, dark black hair, with some of it falling over his forehead. His skin was light." -and I'm not a fan of his 'emo boy' appearence. Besides that I think you have a good piece of writting here. quite enjoyable |
![]() ![]() ![]() This story is very interesting to say the least. I really enjoy it! Please continue writing! |