|Reviews for The Great Masturbator|
| Brenda Agaro chapter 1 . 3/11/2010
I like the repetition of "Catholic men." Also, great imagery. An interesting way to describe religion and devotion.
| Mizzuz Spock chapter 1 . 1/23/2010
Congratulations on winning WCC! And now I am happy to bestow upon you your much-deserved review. :]
I enjoyed the flow of this piece. I especially liked the occasional variation in sentence length after "Catholic men," otherwise it would have gotten boring after awhile, even though the repetition is done nicely.
Your descriptions were wonderful. I particularly loved:
[lick the lovely lilies that grow up from the throat of the earth,
thrashed clean by a malleable lions tongue.]
I don't know much about Catholicism (or religion, for that matter), so I don't know if most of your imagery referred back to something with the dogma (such as the line with the coins) but I felt they still worked in effectively creating a picture for me.
Overall, I thought the word choice was great, though I think there was one line that threw me off a bit:
[exhale it like a hurricane haunted by popery.]
The word "popery" just seemed a bit out of place for me there. "Popery" just seems like an odd word in general, but I can understand why you picked it. It works better than "Catholic ceremonies" or "rituals."
I'm not very clear on the meaning of this piece. I barely get what it's about. Catholic men, yes, but I sense that there's a deeper meaning, especially with the Dali reference. It's no fault of yours that I didn't "get" this poem, though, and it certainly didn't distract from my enjoyment of it. The descriptions and prose were wonderful enough to keep me interested, even if the subject matter was completely alien to me.
The tone comes off as a bit sarcastic in parts, especially with the line [Catholic men do love.] I liked it, but I don't know if that's just my interpretation or if you purposely meant for it to be that way.
Grammar-wise, I didn't see anything wrong with this piece. It's well-polished all around, though I would suggest inserting a break before the translation of Dali's words. At first, I read it as if it were part of the poem, though I'm pretty sure it's not.
All and all, this is a great piece and I really did enjoy it. My only complaint is that wish I knew more to appreciate the whole concept. :]
| wo bu ai ni le chapter 1 . 1/23/2010
Harsh.. but funny, somewhat.
| kit feral chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
Catholic men hunt wild rhinoceros’ bones
in the depths of the Casablancian desert, becoming Africanized,
and upon receiving their pearly white tusks sketches
Raphaelian portraits of their wife’s faces, again, and again.
you write beautifully.
| lipleaf chapter 1 . 1/15/2010
I really loved the repetition of "Catholic men." It gave the poem a sense of flow and rhythm, and it just fit in a way I find hard to describe. I can't really explain why I like it so much. The imagery you use in here are absolutely wonderful. They create pictures that are stunningly clear and yet abstract at the same time and have meanings far deeper than the obvious. I think my favorite part was
"Catholic men climb barren trees;
lick the lovely lilies that grow up from the throat of the earth"
That actually made me pause for a second to let it sink in. Magnificent. The alliteration is amazing as well.
Overall, a lovely and meaningful poem. Well done.
| Elle.Doug chapter 1 . 1/15/2010
Wow. Very good. *applauds*
| Louis Denair chapter 1 . 1/15/2010
Fantastic tone and diction, powerful echo sweet with dreariness. The message is mixed. Some lines elude me as far their meaning's concerned though a meaning there certainly is, I realize, only hidden for critics to prod at and vivisect and divulge by the tip of their ink-serrated scalpels for ages to come. I must say- the title drew me in like a magnet. Does that make me a Catholic? I never did think of atheists as lollygagging ragged individuals as you portray them. Rather either dreary studious philosophers on a wild goose hunt for meaning or thoughtless happy go lucky individuals. Actually, atheists don't have a stereotype to put them in. I know all sorts of atheists and if their (non) religion defines them in any way whatsoever it's the lack of fear and prejudice and open-mindedness. The rest is genes and nurture and life trivia and randomness.
| OspreyEagle chapter 1 . 1/15/2010
I love it! :D