|Reviews for Everyone Changes Underwater|
| HeroofEnelios chapter 1 . 11/12/2010
This one has a lot of meaning to it, especially the last stanza, it was the best part. Keep on going!
| Kittyclaw chapter 1 . 1/27/2010
Please don't think badly of the things I'm about to say, because I mean them with only the very best of intentions. Your poem is drowning under your word choice. When I first read through this, it was as if I was reading it with all of the words scrambled. Long, uncommon words, one after the other; they would help your poem if they had been used liberally and artfully. Instead you've saturated your work with them, working under the assumption that diging through the thesarus makes the stanzas seem more elegant and refined. This is not the case. It has instead left your work off putting, and the emotion and story underneath-the entire point of writing the poem in the first place-is lost. I highly recomend going back and changing out some of those words. Not only will it make the poem more easily readable, but it will help bring the story to the forefront. And really, isn't that what any author is striving to do?
| ShockingReality chapter 1 . 1/24/2010
LOVE the vocabulary range.
"draconian"..."clandestine"..."amalgamated"... you sure you're not making those up? ;)
but seriously, good job.
| Mirabella chapter 1 . 1/22/2010
That last brilliant stanza is my favourite. :)
I love your vocabulary!
| Little Miss Cullen Cutie chapter 1 . 1/21/2010
I am majorly jealous of your poetry. It's so...quaintyily elegant! Beautiful, as always. :)
~Little Miss Cullen Cutie~
| Isca chapter 1 . 1/19/2010
The fact that you used the word "Draconian" in this piece made my entire day. I love that word. I like the word "Machiavellian" too, come to think of it.
The "clandestine rope" part was probably my favourite. Your diction level is high & mighty-keep it up! :)
| nickyO chapter 1 . 1/19/2010
You really have a masterful grasp of language and word choice.
The work shows an interesting mix of restraint and laying down the law. Good job.
| East-0f-Eden chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
I love this. You have great word choice. Then the plot is SO through. Personally, though I think you should have but this under love. There is no longer a relationship but once upon a time there was love.
| Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
Sounds like S/he might not be an underwear changer, just a flipper, exchanging the brown end with the yellow end every couple of days. m ;-)
| Melanie Layugan chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
Wow. Just Wow!
| dancingpaws chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
ahh! big words. !
i loved it! so much :) its beautiful
| Random-Idiocity chapter 1 . 1/16/2010
Deep. But you did an excellnt job on this. Keep it Up!