Reviews for Artifice
caracal eyes chapter 1 . 2/22/2010
while the punctuation did, I think, resemble an unclasped chain, it did distract a little from the words themselves. of course, that is only my opinion, and i do think the punctuation does add a nice touch. maybe, though, it might be better to put a line of the pattern above and/or below the poem, rather than scattering it between words?

oh, but i think i forgot to comment on the words themselves-i definitely enjoyed the metaphor. and it certainly can be more difficult to express a complex event or idea in a very brief statement than it would be using more words. in just a few well-chosen words, here, you get the full meaning across.

so, in summary: i like this poem. :)

-and, on a second reading, the punctuation does seem to add a sort of rhythm or feeling to the whole.


ps: thanks for your review. i'm finally getting around to reviewing people back-here ya go!
fleur de l'est chapter 1 . 2/4/2010
not sure if i'm taking this in the wrong direction, but the layout of the poem with random squiggles and dots seem artificial, as are the 'words'; and in the end it all seems meaningless, if it's only to be crushed for the evanescent scent behind.
SarahMerriman chapter 1 . 1/21/2010
Wow! I am a sucker for form poetry. This is really interesting (in a good way). It really makes you stop and think about what you are reading. You have to really look at it. You are right, it does look like an unclasped bracelet. This must have taken a lot of thought. Well done.
May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 1/19/2010
I liked this, the way it was formatted to the simply imagery. Refreshing.
Punslinger chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
The format is inreresting, but the poem is appealing on its own. The image of crushing a sweetheart's words for scent is charming.
Tranquil Thorns chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
I'm not sure if the format resembles anything to me (although it's pretty interesting), but I appreciate the language.

I liked the way the one violent word - crushed - is supported by two periods at each end. To me, it was effectively punctuated and stood out all the more, like a forceful blow.

Good piece. :)
Princess-anna57 chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
I like this! Interesting format that looks quite pretty on the screen. And the words themselves are meaningful indeed. Please write on!

~Anna~ _