Reviews for The God Killers
lookingwest chapter 4 . 4/22/2012
Other-Oh man, I just realized that I contradicted myself in my earlier review-this is in the romance genre! haha, at least as a 3rd one. Sorry for completely spacing that off. Anyway, as far as that relationship development goes I look forward to the romance too, especially if it really does involve Val and Jon. I think you did a good job implanting that kind of implication early on (so that readers start picking up on it), to further build on it with each chapter. Also I wanted to mention-I liked the moment with the lightening at the end of last chapter. It reminded me of the "power meets power" trope that's mentioned in this chapter with the storm.

Ending- Loved the reveal concerning Nigel knowing about Jon being a god. The description of the lightening storm etc. was great and I thought it was also foreshadowed well in the last chapter as I mentioned above. I'm curious to see what will happen with Jon wakes up! Especially with this big escort he's going to have...

Plot- You're doing a good job sticking to the plot as far as the road-trip theme. I like how you incorporate different aspects of that tradition, like the lone diner, the desert, the storm, all of that feels familiar but you explain why they stop to experience these things really well and incorporate it into this world with ease. I like the storm and Jon's reactions with it-very intense, and it was also an exciting climax!

Characters- Loved the mini-argument that the two of them have when they leave the diner, both of them really endure themselves to the reader well. I liked the introduction of Nigel and that he was able to see past Val's little lie at the end, he seems like a trustworthy individual and I hope that he doesn't end up betraying Jonathan or Val at any point in the future. Their relationship as family also perked my interest.
lookingwest chapter 3 . 4/22/2012
Relationships-Great development between Val and Jon in this chapter, I especially liked the end scene with them in the hot tub, it was tinged with a flavor of humor that I appreciated from such an intense conversation earlier in the chapter. I'm interested almost to see if anything romantic will come of this-though I suppose that would make little sense since Jon is a god and probably asexual, haha, but it kind of makes me wonder why he chose to be a man if he could chose any type of human form.

Writing- Your writing is very clear and flows wonderfully, and I like that, especially for third person. I'm wondering if this will continue to follow Val in limited reminiscent or if we'll ever switch back to Jon like in the prologue. You handle the editing in a clear an concise manner that I also appreciate while reading!

Enjoyment- I enjoyed this chapter because it went into more detail about the god thing-I was interested in the fact that Val was asking all of these questions, just because it feels like she should maybe already know this stuff with being involved with Roth Industries. Then again, like she said, she doesn't know everything, plus-education about how gods work is probably not something that is encouraged, or even acknowledged, for that matter.

Setting-I like how you started in the Midwest and are venturing into the southwest. The road-map quality of each chapter keeps things interesting and I think it taps into the road-trip tradition and puts a fun twist on it with the god concept. A new take on an old technique, you're handling it with ease and I look forward to more!
lookingwest chapter 2 . 4/22/2012
Plot- Unique! Ah, you so had me, haha. This story was so not what I thought it would be. I love the developments with Jonathan and everything, so unique! I was wondering why Velvety Cheerio seemed to like this so much by her reviews and now I know :) I really liked how you progressed things along plot-wise and developed that ending moment of truth between Val and Jon, great moment.

Characters-So Jon is a god? Also unique! I liked how you introduced Val, though. She was the focal point of this chapter and I love how she contrasts with Jon. Her personality is great and I like the ironic reveal of her character background. It really hypes up the tension between her and Jon and the reveal really made me want to continue reading.

Pacing-Also great! I think you created a great set up for interesting conversation by way of Val's car troubles and the hitchhiking. It worked well and gave us a lot of information and development about the characters without slowing down the pace to 'tell' us. I also liked how you worked in the scene breaks, skipping some transitions helped for a steady pace too.

Dialogue-Realistic and I can't thank you enough for writing your dialogue with such great flow. I thought their conversations were realistic because they carried naturally from one subject to the next. I also got the sense that Jon was more reserved than Val with his personality and that did come across through their dialogues together.
lookingwest chapter 1 . 4/22/2012
Opening- On the whole I liked this prologue as the beginning to a story because it sets us up with a good idea of the world in 2036. The idea feels like it's plausible, but not plausible at the same time, which I think is kind of fun and makes this unique with a sci-fi twist...in fact I assumed this was sci-fi but now that I've look at the genres I find I was mistaken! If the US was going to create a war on religion, I'm going to need some pretty sufficient evidence/excuses as to why they would attack white male protestants-so I look forward to how they managed to pull that off. At the same time, you mention "gods", and since this is in the fantasy/supernatural category, perhaps Christianity isn't the main point here. At any rate, you definitely have me speculating and wanting to read more!

Scene- I liked the visual of Jon sitting in the motel room looking at the TV because I thought you did a good job depicting a dark mood over this starting chapter. I liked how you ended the scene with the UPA invasion, it broke that tension that was building since the Q&A session.

Technique- Speaking of, I loved the technique of having the question and answer thing. That was unique and experimental and I think you handled it really well. I look forward to seeing any more experimental moments in the narrative that might crop up!

Characters- Great introduction of Jon, I think you do a good job introducing the rules of the setting/world before you reveal that Jon is one of the persecuted. That reveal was great and you already have me sympathizing with him as a main character, which for a short prologue is key!
mistycabin chapter 1 . 12/22/2011
Very intriguing!
VelvetyCheerio chapter 12 . 10/24/2011
Aha! I knew it!

Hehe, so sorry this took so long. I seem to be saying that a lot. :\ Anyway, yeah, college. Time eater. Same blah.

I liked Nathaniel's character in the beginning part of this chapter. He came off as mysterious and very all knowing. In fact, if it hadn't been explained how he was just using Jonathan's power momentarily, I would have thought he was an actual god from the beginning.

He also seems quite sinister. I wonder what his plans entail, exactly...

[and that was imply inexcusable.] *simply

However, I feel his character changed strangely after the scene break. Well, okay, it wasn't an instant change, just one piece of dialogue from his that bugged me. It seemed rather out of character and also out of context to what was going on.

["I think an even more pressing matter is where the hell my car is," Nathaniel shot back.]

I mean, they're currently hiding out, trying to explain to Val her role in all this, and then BAM! Dude, where's my car? Like, what? XD Who cares? This is serious business going down right now.

I like the term "reinforced soul". It sounds almost like she got an extra boost against evil, or something. At the same time that's she's important, I feel a little bad for Val, now. She's basically a tool. What if other gods that managed to survive find her and Jonathan?

I could see a lot of psychological warfare going down if this story took a darker road. ;)

Very glad I finally got to read this chapter. Keep it up!

Velvet.
Rigel19 chapter 12 . 10/10/2011
This is fantastic! I'm so excited to read more (I do hope you're still considering continuing to update... I know it's been a while). This is technically wonderful, and a very satisfying read. Great job.
Ayakaishi Fei chapter 12 . 9/30/2011
I'm kind of surprised that this story only has 24 reviews, because it's really, really good. The technical aspects are all good, spelling, grammar, sentence construction, which allows the reader to focus on the story, and the story is interesting.

You introduce a time/world which is plausible, and you mix the supernatural with the real world elements in a well thought out way. The plot is fairly fast paced, and the set-up is masterful. The characterisation is fairly solid, although I do feel as though I've not gotten to know the characters as well as I'd like. I like that you've gone with the show and not tell route to characterisation, it really works well, and I'm hoping that you continue this, because it hits all the right spots for me.
violinrunner2 chapter 11 . 7/15/2011
What a nasty place to stop!

This is really good. I'm enjoying it immensely! Can't wait for more!
VelvetyCheerio chapter 11 . 7/1/2011
What? Val's own father? A god! I'm surprised. If the UPA knew that Nathaniel was a god, why would they keep the company under his name? I suppose it would be a good idea, to not cause any suspicion, but couldn't they have just claimed that some young upstart took over and put his name on everything instead?

Hmm. This is indeed very interesting. Nigel's betrayal is so upsetting. I had such hope for him, too. Tsk tsk!

All this talk of Val's essence is intriguing. I suppose she is some sort of mix between mortal and grand deity. Like Hercules! I wonder what they need it for, though. Is her essence a wellspring of belief? A never-ending source of power that can be harnessed by the gods?

I can't imagine how everything is going to work out from here. Two gods in a facility armed to the teeth with technology designed to destroy them... yeah, it doesn't look good at all. xD

An excellent chapter, I enjoyed it.

On a different note, a few mistakes:

["Why did he delver you to Roth?"] *deliver

[and leaned back with a contended smile on his face when they released each other.] Contended should be content.

Velvet.
Bubble Wrapped Kitty chapter 11 . 6/10/2011
Yet another mesmerizing chapter! You never cease to provide a wonderfully well thought out chapter full of twists and turns and surprises. You haven't even finished this story yet and I'm already ready to beg you to get this story published just so I can have a copy of it that I can read over and over and over.

Just a small editorial note. Near the middle after Nathanial has come into the story, there is a a few places where you wrote Nigel instead of Nathanial.

Beyond that, this is just another captivating chapter in what has easily become one of my favorite books of all time.

I can't wait to read the next chapter. (Including the title is a cruel teaser by the way, haha.)

- Artie
VelvetyCheerio chapter 10 . 5/24/2011
Oh my, what has Jonathan done! Did he mean to drop her there? Is this all part of a bigger plan?

I'll admit I did have to reread the last chapter since I've been gone so long. Sorry about that. Life is such a needy thing.

Anyway, I was quite impressed with this chapter. Very much so on Kate's side, that she would have the guts to actually shoot Jonathan. Too bad things didn't work out the way she wanted them to.

Roth tech sounds even worse when used against a human. But also slightly interesting. I'd love to see it in action, if that's not creepy at all. xD

An overall great chapter. I don't know whether I want Jonathan to come to the rescue and explain whatever it was Nigel was talking about, or just stay away and find ways to regroup.

Velvet.
CESmith372 chapter 10 . 4/5/2011
your story is incredibly well written-I think the plot environment you created is absolutely awesome! Some of the explanations about the powers/reasons for gods was a bit confusing, but overall, I'll definately keep reading!
BlueAki chapter 9 . 1/12/2011
You are honestly one of my favorite authors on here. You're style of writing and story idea's are original and thought provoking. I really REALLY hope you have thought about getting published one day. I would buy all your books. This is a great story and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Capitalz chapter 9 . 12/28/2010
Hrmm... Why didn't he just teleport into Las Vegas? Is it God-Proof? Did I miss something?
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