Reviews for Gone
WriterOnTheMove chapter 1 . 1/22/2010
wow...this poem was very powerful.

I love how you began and ended the poem with the message machine, it really added to the effect because well, when you lose someone, it's like all you need to do is hear their voice, and the machine is usually the first thing people look to. Which is uncanny, but slightly understandable.

Another thing i loved was how you repeated ' but now you're gone' twice.

To me it almost sounded like an echoe when i read the line again. And it felt like it was being said once, and then the empiness she left behind kind of left an eerie silence.

So quiet and hollow the the words echoe.

At least, that's what i imagined.

Over all, it was a good poem, and the emotion was clearly displayed.

Great job again :)

felixlee14 chapter 1 . 1/22/2010
Great poem:) I think this is your most touching poem yet:)
Amaya K. Lilium chapter 1 . 1/21/2010
This piece is full of emotion. I love how the length of each line gave the poem a very broken feeling while you're reading it, which ties in very nicely to the tone. The repetition seemed to mirror the fact that the narrator is constantly reminded that his girl is gone and can't get over that fact, which I thought was a nice touch. The voice-mail/recording part in the italics was genius also. Nice job, and I hope this situation has a happy ending!
CatProduttore chapter 1 . 1/21/2010
The way you used the parts in italics is powerful. Everyone has had times where they can't seem to say what they mean. I think you expressed that wonderfully.

I'm not a big fan of poetry in general, but yours seems so sincere and heartfelt that I feel like I understand what you are thinking.
writewithcourage chapter 1 . 1/21/2010
this is really good. i like how it begins with a recording of a message. :)
Your-Magpie chapter 1 . 1/21/2010
does this story have a happy ending O_O

i really really love the format and your style here, its poetic, without being too preachy, which is something i really need to perfect (so thanks for a bit of help there)

thanks for putting it up. :)